Oscar Whores Live Blog 2008
1145pm - A very serious looking Denzel presents Best Picture. And No Country sweeps the awards; gets a standing O from Cormac McCarthy.
1143pm - Best Director - Coen Brothers. Forgot Joel was married to Frances McDormand.
1130pm - Helen Mirren, gorgeous. Best Actor. Is Johnny Depp chewing gum? Daniel Day Lewis gets it, obviously. Yeah, I'm digging the Irish tonight.
1123pm - Harrison Ford. seems. very. tired. Best Original Screenplay ... Diablo Cody. Duh. I don't know about that dress.
1115pm - Tom Hanks for documentary feature. Taxi to the Dark Side. Lost again; I went with No End in Sight.
1113pm - Soldiers in Iraq presenting documentary short. Skinny lady in silver dress wins something about gay soldiers? Irony.
1109pm - Amy Adams presents Best Original score - Atonement.
1101pm - Hilary Swank and the dead people.
1059pm - Cameron Diaz is having issues with the word "cinematography" - does it really matter? There Will Be Blood takes it; first award of the night for that movie?
1057pm - They let the Best Song girl come back out and talk about hope. *tear*
1049pm - John Travolta dances around, presents Best Song. Falling Slowly, Once gets it. Finally get something on my Oscar pool. They're cute tho. They cut the girl off, whoopsies. (Jon: God, that guy is so arrogant)
1046pm - More songs from Enchanted. They make Amy Adams waltz around the stage but not McDreamy?
1042pm - Penelope Cruz, stunning. Foreign Language Film. EW told me The Counterfeiters was a shoo-in. And they are correct!
1031pm - Nicole Kidman, sporting a tiny baby bump. Hello, diamonds. And botox? Ooh, closeup of Cameron not very flattering. Honorary Oscar time. Channel surfing time. George Lopez on Nick or Deuce Bigalow on TBS. Hmmm.
1029pm - Renee Zelweger, looking as cupie doll as ever. Presenting film editing. Bourne Ultimatum gets it. Where's Matt Damon?
1028pm - Best Picture montage. I really was not a fan of "Crash"
1023pm - Jack's back, and not in sunglasses. He's drunk. Are they giving out Best Picture before director and original screenplay? And Best Actor?
1018pm - Stewart playing the Wii against the "August Rush" singer. Colin Farrell almost bites it while walking onstage. His hair grease, perhaps? He's "chuffed" for this performance.
10:10pm - Best Actress: Marion Cotilliard, La Vie En Rose. "Thank you life, thank you love. It is true there are some angels in this city."
10:03pm - Superbad kids as Halle Berry and Judy Dench. Bourne Ultimatum gets sound editing. EW led me astray to Transformers! I had to roll my eyes at Shia's Strokes t-shirt. Bourne also takes sound mixing. I so lost my $5 Oscar pool money.
10:01pm - "Angelina couldn't be with us tonight. It's tough to get 17 babysitters on such short notice."
954pm - I thought Hannah Montana was performing but she's just introducing Kristin Chenowith and another song from Enchanted. It reminds me of a strange high school production. Kristin seems subdued.
947pm - Josh Brolin and James McAvoy for Best Adapted Screenplay. I'm liking James' Irish accent. And the Coen brothers take it. "We've only adapted Homer and Cormac McCarthy."
945pm - Jessica Alba salutes the geeks. "Two women pregnant at the Oscars. But then again, the night is still young. And Jack is here. Perhaps sir, we will re-tally at the end of the night."
936pm - Best Supporting Actress. Tilda Swinton for Michael Clayton. Her agent apparently looks like Oscar ("the buttocks too"). Gives George kudos for climbing into the Batman & Robin suit every day ("with the nipples") under his costume.
931pm - Jerry Seinfeld - NO MORE BEE MOVIE! A montage of bees in movies?! Animated short; I think I went with the Walrus one. Nope, Peter and the Wolf. Oh look, the guy has a scary doll.
929pm - What did Owen Wilson get nominated for? Tenenbaums? Indeed, as a writer. Live Action Short goes to the Frenchies.
9:25pm - They're introducing Keri Russell as the star of "August Rush" and not "Waitress"? Oh, I guess they're going to sing a song from "August Rush." Can't wait ...
9:24pm - An Oscar salute to bincoluars and periscopes and bad dreams.
9:22pm - Jon Stewart: I believe he told his mother where the library is.
9:17pm - Duh, Javier wins it. No, it's not Penelope next to him, it's his mom. Look up, Tommy Lee! I don't know what he just said to his mom, but it sounded good.
9:15pm - A look back at past Supporting Actor winners. Cuba Gooding Jr's not there? Shooting go over on Snow Dogs 2?
9:10pm - Queen Cate, looking lovely. Presenting Art Direction. I'm thinking Sweeney Todd? And Sweeney Todd it is. That's some red lipstick on Johnny's gf Vanessa Paradis. Love the key-shaped necklace, though.
9:06pm - The Rock - I'm sorry, Duane Johnson - presenting Best Visual Effects. I just muted him. Don't they usually give out Best Supporting Actress as one of the first awards? I think I picked Transformers, because Entertainment Weekly told me to. EW, you led me astray! The Golden Compass gets it. Wow, they're quite excited. ("I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOOOOU!!")
9:03pm - Ok, I just tried to fast forward through the commercials and then remembered I'm actually watching live TV for once. I heart my DVR.
9pm - Amy Adams performs the Enchanted song. What, no computer-enhanced rats and cockroaches?
8:56pm - Katherine Heigl: best makeup. She's looking thin and scared shitless. I went with La Vie en Rose, I think. And Frenchies for the win!
8:51pm - Michael Scott! "You never seem to amaze me with your constant need for attention." I think he just said shit. "Is this being shown in Belgium?! Shit." Ok, I guessed the rat movie for the office poll. Woo, I'm 1-1.
8:47pm - George Clooney introducing "80 Years of Oscar" ... woo, montages. Wow, those gold Oscar jumpsuits are something. Oh God, not the Titanic theme song.
8:41pm - Jennifer Garner: costume design. Hair's a little messy, sweetheart. I think I picked Sweeney Todd for my office pool on this one. God damnit, losing already. It goes to Elizabeth: The Golden Age.
8:36pm - Political chat. Is Penelope sitting next to Javier?
8:32pm - Jon Stewart. "Welcome to the makeup sex."
8:16pm - Amy Adams is performing a song from "Enchanted" later. Shooting daggers at ABC correspondent for mentioning that she'll be singing in front of "billions with a 'b'" people tonight.
8:15pm - Dear Lord, what is Daniel Day Lewis' wife wearing?
8:14pm - Helen Mirren: I'm playing a madam in a whorehouse. Love her.
8:12pm - Jennifer Garner has emerged from the Busey encounter unscathed. No! She is using Rachael Zoe as her personal stylist. How long until she fades away to the under-85lbs club?
8:07pm - Mmm, Javier Bardem. Aw, he brought his mother. And now he's speaking Spanish. Yum.
8:05pm - In the meantime, it's George. This chick is apparently my age. I'm not sure if that depresses me.
8:01pm - Damnit, I forgot there was an ABC pre-show. I just sat through an hour of E! bullshit, though Gary Busey attacking Seacrest and a frightened looking Jennifer Garner was pretty great. Why was he there!?