Monday, May 28, 2007

Lohan Rehab Redux
By PopCultureWhore

I literally laughed out loud when I heard the “Lindsay Lohan arrested for DUI” news snippet this weekend. This stuff just writes itself. In the days since the young thespian was hauled in for crashing her Benz, leaving the scene, having trace amounts of coke in said vehicle and apparently drinking and driving (underage), her jailbird Daddy has penned a note demanding that Lindsay seek help from Jesus, gossip columns have pointed the coke-fueled finger are Mommy Lohan, Svedka Vodka has pulled out of sponsoring Lindsay’s 21st Vegas birthday bash and now the little lamb has reportedly checked herself back into rehab for a little R&R.

This is obviously good news for her acting career – seeing as how her most recent films like Just My Luck, Prairie Home Companion and Georgia Rule were such critical favorites and box office blockbusters. Next up for the Oscar voters is I Know Who Killed Me, where it appears Lohan plays an amnesiac stripper with a penchant for creative writing?

Extreme Makeover: Whore Edition
by PopCultureWhore

I just killed about 3 million brain cells by watching “Ex Wives Club” on ABC tonight. It features Trump’s ex Marla Maples, K-Fed’s first baby’s mama Shar Jackson and some redhead who was engaged to Stallone trying to mend the broken hearts of jilted Americans.

I can’t wait for “The Soup” to tear this one apart. I predict they’ll either use Angie saying “The last thing I’d want to be called on my honeymoon is a bitch” quote, Shar telling us how she broke it to her kid that not everyone has a house like Britney's or the clip featuring a roomful of blindfolded nutcases screaming “I don’t deserve to be treated like this!”

Note to TV executives – neither do I!

I loved the before and after montages that literally featured clips of people having hysterical mental breakdowns in the “before” shots and then flashed to brilliant post-makeover glamour shots for the “after”.

Apparently all I have to do to get over a breakup is fling my ex-boyfriend’s prized wheels from a plane and get Marla Maples to do my PR. I mean, I’d let her sell my condo or introduce me at a work retreat, but otherwise, girlfriend’s pearly whites kind of scare me.

One of the hysterical divorcees, Rebecca, also revealed that she’d written a book after her “journey” on the show, prompting Shar to request roles for her and the ladies should the book be turned into a movie. Right. I’m thinking her best bet for now is the porn version of “Crossroads”.