Monday, March 12, 2007

Foundation as Path to Enlightenment
By PopCultureWhore

Jay Manuel from “America’s Next Top Model” is wearing about as much makeup as I had to cake on to play a dancing munchkin guard in my high school production of “The Wizard of Oz”. But he totally reminds of Keanu Reeves in that “Little Buddha” movie, where Mr. Whoa himself played Buddha. Seriously.

God Wears Chiffon?!
By PopCultureWhore

I haven’t watched too much of “I Love New York” on Vh1 because she kind of makes me throw up in my mouth a little, but this random interview she did with “Blender” is just too priceless not to share. Turns out her high school nick name was “dick breath”, she suspects that Donald Trump is “probably packin’” more than a sour disposition, believes God wears a “long chiffon robe of love and forgiveness”, likes to be slapped around in bed, and has a third eye with which she sees the future. Bitch, please. Chiffon?! God could wear a coat made of unicorn fur and he’s going to wear something from the sale rack at TJ Maxx?! Somewhere, Tim Gunn is plotting your death.
Divorce, Y'all!
By PopCultureWhore

“There is a trashy-ass couple on who already have two kids. The ‘bride’ just shoved fake chicken cutlet boobs into her ghetto David’s Bridal dress. Yikes.”

My friends understand my love of crap-tastic MTV reality shows and “Engaged & Underaged” is no exception. So when my friend Nicole sent me the e-mail above, I knew there was going to be a special treat waiting for me at home on my DVR.

Now, you might think that tonight’s episode featuring the 19-year-old pregnant girl who looks suspiciously like Amanda Bynes or the woman who waxed her future daughter-in-law’s hoo-ha might take the Golden Twinkie of Trash prize, but trust me, the Florence, KY two-some of Josh and Ashley win by a landslide. has this segment where they rate the NYT wedding section like a Fantasy Football type thing, with points gained for Ivy League graduates, doctors, Hampton homes, board memberships and the like. Let’s do that with Josh and Ashley, Kentucky style:

Mother of the bride resembles substitute PE teacher: -4
Bridge and groom wear bandanas during their episode: +2
Honeymoon suite includes dead animal heads: +8
Mother of the bride threatens to kill groom: +5
Glow-worm of a daughter is named Neveah (“Heaven” backwards): +10
Son is cute enough to do commercials that would support family: +3
Wedding reception at a VFW: -1
Groom wakes up on wedding day with permanent marker on face: +4
Bride angry over bachelor party strip club outing: +1
Bride not old enough to legally drink champagne toast: +3
Bride is already a “former” beauty queen at age 18: +1
Water tower in your town says “Florence, Y’all”: +15

Click HERE to read the E&U blog.