Sunday, February 11, 2007

Grammy Run Down
By PopCultureWhore

** Justin Timberlake. Was that little close-up video camera bit at the end of “What Goes Around” a little shout-out to Britney and her dizzying angles on the atrocious “Chaotic” reality TV series?

** Beyonce’s skirt was a tad see-through. CBS did its best to shield the outline of her thighs from Middle America.

** John Mayer. I like the curly hair – I don’t like the sneakers with the suit. Ryan Seacrest was very proud of himself when they got someone to decipher the Japanese phrase John uttered on the red carpet when asked about Jessica Simpson. “She is very beautiful – and you’re the last to know” Mayer told Seacrest in Japanese. Because Seacrest would be more interested in Mayer than Jessica?

** Ludacris gives a shout-out to Oprah and Bill O’Reilly, both of whom have criticized his racy lyrics. Luda best watch his back. Queen Oprah will smote him.

** Carrie Underwood changed clothes during her performance – from a Dorothy Gale green number to a Stevie Nicks black ensemble. Oops, a stage hand just guided Carrie right through Ornette Coleman and Natalie Wood’s intro – probably because she’s going to win Best New Artist. Yep.

** Is Rascal Flatts really singing “Hotel California” at an awards show in 2007? I feel like I only hear this song when I’m stuck at toll booths on Rte. 95.

** Lionel Richie is singing “Hello”. I know this is a classic, but it always makes me laugh. And now thanks to Starburst, it makes me think of that disturbing commercial where the kid eats a replica of the girl’s head made of Starburst in reference to the clay model featured in Lionel’s video.

** That little kid performing with Chris Brown is extremely spastic. Someone’s been doing his pilates. I missed this flip:

** Christina, I love you, but please lay off the fake tanning spray. And the purple eye shadow. And the red lipstick. Thanks. Girl can sing, though.

** Why do they keep flashing to Jamie Foxx after every performance?

** Ok, back to Ludacris. He’s performing with Earth, Wind & Fire? Somebody’s getting high up in the kitchen? Poor Lisa. Whoa, Mary J. is rocking the Farrah hair.

** Is James Blunt STILL singing this song?!

** Justin’s back. His “Grammy moment” winner looks a tad awkward, but I guess she can sing? Eh. More Justin, less random girl.

** Oh God, Quentin Tarantino needs to lay off the hair gel. And what is he wearing? Ok, and he’s talking much too loud. I think he’s been sampling the back stage liquor.

** Red Hot Chili Peppers are a bit tame. Does this mean they’re going to win an award next because they’re performing? The confetti is obnoxious. Some divas in the audience are not happy it’s getting in their hair. I wonder who has to clean that up? I’m thinking about this because their performance is booooring.

** Al Gore and Queen Latifah. Yeah. Red Hot Chili Peppers get the award. I totally called that.

** I wonder what they’re going to do for the 50th annual Grammy awards? Will Britney be back in top form to give us a VMA-esque performance? A duet with Justin? A whore can dream.

** Scarlett Johansson is recording an album? Ew. I vaguely remember some song of hers from a movie that got onto the Internet?

** Natalie Maines from the Dixie Chicks is married to the guy from "Heroes"? I actually remember him (Adrian Pasdar) from that Lifetime movie "Love in Another Town", where he romanced a jilted Victoria Principal.
Framed Wedding Dress?
By PopCultureWhore

That boring model who dated Britney Spears has sold his story to the British tabloid News of the World. Class act. Isaac Cohen basically paints her as sex crazed and insecure. Shocking! The most amusing part of the article is the fact that she has her wedding dress framed in a glass box and that Issac said, “As we made love that night, it was like Kevin was in bed beside us.” What?! That’s when he should’ve gotten the hell out of there. You don’t want K-Fed anywhere near your bed. Speaking of K-Fed, he and Justin ran into each other on the red carpet recently, but Justin was cordial and greeted his former backup dancer.

The Women of the Grammys
By PopCultureWhore

Mary J. Blige went for the grecian goddess look for her big night.

Fergie. Um, I like the shoes?

Mandy, did you forget to take off your bathrobe and dress for the occasion? I know you've been depressed and you're dating Nicole Richie's ex-boyfriend, but let's make a little effort.

Jennifer Hudson shows off the goods in advance of her likely Oscar win. As my roommate put it, "It's crazy that Beyonce is singing tonight instead of Jennifer Hudson."

Christina. Eh, she's done better. Much prefer the black number she wore last night at Clive Davis' pre-Grammy party.

Carrie Underwood. She totally looks like my Crystal Barbie in this dress.

Not bad, Scarlett. E! asked her about the Justin rumors, but she said they were just friends and co-stars in the video for "What Goes Around". Click HERE to watch it.

Nelly Furtado. Someone got their skirt and bangs a little too close to the shredder.

Hilary Duff, this is a hair brush. Hair brush, this is Hilary Duff. I hope you two have a lovely life together.

When you're done with that brush, perhaps you want to hand it over to Shakira?

Oddly enough, Pink looks pretty good. That's what being on tour with Justin does for you.
Welcome to Brooklyn
By PopCultureWhore

MTV has apparently had its fill of sea-side reality TV series and is now setting its sites on NYC. Flyers have been distributed at Brooklyn Tech High School calling for sophomores and juniors to apply for an upcoming reality series. MTV already has the go-ahead to film inside the school, so it’ll be more focused on school-related activities than “Laguna Beach”. MTV calls Brooklyn “a cross between Harlem in its hey day and Paris” – um yeah. So when one of the shows' graduates moves to Manhattan to work in the music industry, will it be called "The City" a la LC's "The Hills"? I'd be more interested in that than more high school crap. More details HERE.

Vampire Jim
By PopCultureWhore

Last week’s episode of “The Office” once again did not bring us the Pam and Jim moment we’ve all been waiting for. Pam left Phyllis’ wedding with ex-fiancĂ© Roy, prompting Jim to immediately tell the camera how happy he is with girlfriend Karen. Fear not, JAM hopefuls. Word on the street is that Rashida Jones, who plays Karen, has been selected to play the lead in a new Fox pilot called “The Rules of Starting Over”. Are Karen’s days at the Scranton branch numbered? I can’t imagine we’ll have answer this week, but we will get Jim trying to convince Dwight he is a vampire after a bat gets loose in the office.