“The Hills” has returned and our former “Laguna Beach” moppets are at it again. We’re two episodes in and while Lauren (LC) has redeemed herself after ditching a summer Teen Vogue internship in Paris in favor of living with now ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler, her editor Lisa Love felt the need to pour a bit more salt on Lauren’s wound in the season’s debut episode. “How was the summer at the beach with your boyfriend?” she asks coyly when LC and co-worker Whitney return from their summer break. “Did that work out for you?” Snap! I’d say exactly the same thing, of course. It’s just hilarious that a grown woman (and girlfriend is looking haggard) would feel the need to belittle a 20-year-old to such a degree, but that’s why this tripe is so great.
Lauren’s roommate Heidi, meanwhile, is still working the LA club promotion circuit and has picked up a little gem named Spencer Pratt. He drives a BMW despite having a rather nebulous career path managing his best friend, but his look is very porn-esque so I’d keep an eye out for him in the bargain bin of the local adult video store.
Spencer manages to bring Heidi’s now enemy Audrina to the opening of LA nightclub Area and convince both women that he can’t stand the other one, despite them both being in the same room. When Heidi is confronted with a pregnancy scare, she decides to “test” Spencer by telling him she might be pregnant when she already knows the test was negative. Because he responded “I’ll do whatever you want to do” rather than pushing her out of the car and speeding off, Heidi figures he’s a good catch. Too bad he goes home and calls up Audrina for a date, though she wisely deflects his advances.
Coincidentally, Spencer’s BFF is Brody Jenner. The two both appeared on the short-lived Fox reality show “The Princes of Malibu”, in which Brody, his brother and their friend Spencer annoyed the shit out of music producer step-father David Foster. Brody also dated former LB star and LC enemy Kristin Cavallari. When Heidi suggests that she, Spencer, LC and Brody all double date, LC exclaims “But he’s been with Kristin! He’s tainted!” Then she goes out with him anyway. He spends the entire date complementing her smile and batting his oddly long eye lashes. He has about as much natural charm as a “Road Rules” cast member after a booze-fueled night in a South American dive bar, but LC falls for it anyway and arrives home like a smitten school girl.