Monday, January 08, 2007

These Are My New Thighs!
By PopCultureWhore

Did anyone sit through the new E! show “High Maintenance 90210”? It’s pretty boring, save for the music producer with a massive chair reminiscent of the one used by Lily Tomlin’s Edith Ann character. I mention it, however, because the coming attractions included a quick shot of a girl who purred “I’m your employer” before clinking glasses with some small LA wannabe. Sadly, I knew I’d heard her Valley Girl trill before and it finally hit me who she is. Remember the MTV True Life “I’m Getting Plastic Surgery” that featured Luke and his calf implants? The show also had 19-year-old Allison and Rachael, dubbed Sugar and Spice, who “pigged out” at Spago before their liposuction procedures and then failed in their bids to be featured in the pages of Playboy. I’m pretty sure the girl on HM90210 is blonde Allison. I’m curious as to what she does to be considered someone’s boss ...Click HERE and scroll down to “I’m Getting Plastic Surgery” to see a clip of these two mental giants in action. Someone needs to make my life easier and upload the True Life and HM90210 clips to YouTube.

And Click HERE for an amusing blog entry about other “True Life” episodes.

Idea People
By PopCultureWhore

I work in SoHo and I frequently find myself trying not to be violent when I get stuck behind packs of the fashion elite just strolling aimlessly with Dean & Deluca cups, Prada shopping bags and BlackBerries in hand. Now, thanks to THIS NYT article, I know that while I’m hustling to the post office to send out used books I sold on Amazon for extra cash, these lovelies are heading to Balthazar’s on Spring St. to join the late breakfast crowd, or “idea people” as they are known. These individuals have the good fortune of not having jobs that require a 9 a.m. arrival time so they can languish over Eggs Benedict (egg whites for the “Vogue” staffers, I imagine) between 9 – 11 a.m. at any of the city’s finest chi-chi bistros. Just make sure you leave before the riff raff lunch or dinner crowds arrive. “Once 11:30 a.m. hits, the energy shifts in the city,” according to a fashion publicist. Sweetie, that’s the sun making its way around the earth, which sadly, does not revolve around you. That’s all …

Me Against My Eardrums
By PopCultureWhore

Britney Spears ignored the paparazzi this weekend and instead blasted some of the new music that is supposed to save her career. Honey, as amusing as I found the videos for “Everytime” and “Not Yet a Woman”, your strength is really not in the ballad. Stick to easily lip synched, hip-hop infused pop confections like “Slave 4 U” and “Me Against the Music” and you might avoid the Surreal Life 47 in about 10 years.

Random thought, but do you think the paparazzi were those kids in high school who always tried to talk to the popular kids, but could never quite make it? Something about the pap in this video calling Britney’s name and having her blatantly ignore him by turning up her music smacks of high school insecurities. Except now instead of crying under the bleachers and making a Mean Girls-esque burn book with their art class snaps, the paparazzi can make thousands by being their true stalkerish selves. Dreams do come true!
Tanorexic Barbie
By PopCultureWhore

Christina Aguilera is looking very Barbie-like in this shot. I feel like posing her in a pink Cadillac or maybe cutting off some of her hair and blaming it on my sister. If she were any Barbie, she would be Crystal Barbie, which was the highlight of my Christmas stocking in 1985. Over the years, she and Peaches 'n' Cream Barbie vied for my love and attention. But I could never really decide between Crystal's sparkly pumps or Peaches' layered polyester frock.

By PopCultureWhore

I might actually have to see “Ocean’s 13.” I swore off the franchise after “Ocean’s 12” with the Bruce Willis cameo (Tallulah’s Sponge Bob?!), Catherine Zeta-Jones and that crazy little Frenchman doing break dance moves through the museum’s motion detector beams. But they’ve ditched Julia Roberts (thank God) in favor of Ellen Barkin and I’m kind of seeing the appeal of Matt Damon after “The Departed” … soooo, you never know. Replace Brad with Jake and the old guy with John Krasinski and I might just move into the movie theater and watch it on a loop.
Weekend Trash
By PopCultureWhore

Before Carmen Electra started marrying eyeliner-clad celebrities and making strip aerobic exercise videos, she tried her hand at a music career. I came across one of her videos on ONTD this weekend – the aptly titled “Go Go Dancer.” Is the theme of the video that she wishes she could skip high school and be a stripper or that she really does miss eighth period for a little quality time in the champagne room? The world may never know. Carmen’s “singing” voice actually reminds me of Betty Boo, who had a few random songs in the early 90’s, including the always classic “Doin’ the Do.”

One of my jazz recital dances in seventh grade was actually to “Doin’ the Do” … we were decked out in green taffeta, pink feathers and hot pink bike shorts. Seriously. I wish I had a picture of it on hand, but it was about as atrocious as these little numbers.