Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Don’t Go, Sweet BoomKat
By PopCultureWhore

Basically the only reason I’ve been watching “Making the Band 4” is for the contestants’ rousing renditions of “On Bended Knee” and the television gold that is choreographer Laurie Ann “BoomKat” Gibson.

So imagine my horror when my beloved BoomKat was chased off the screen by a grumpy Diddy, who disapproved of her positive feedback and only giving her boys five hours to learn a dance routine after he’d requested an entire weekend of booty shaking.

First of all, whatever “group” comes out of this TV show is not going to be the next musical phenomenon. We all know that. Danity Kane certainly had staying power, didn’t they? SO, knowing that, let’s focus on whatever drama and craziness we can stir up during the actual taping. And who better to bring the crazy than BoomKat? She’d probably cut me in a dark alley while doing the running man, but I love that bitch. Don’t disappoint me, Diddy. I don’t want shots of your kids lounging around a Manhattan loft. I want BoomKat in a black hoodie looking like she hasn’t decided whether to teach me an eight count dance routine or stuff my body in her trunk.

That being said, she’s apparently doing ok for herself, as she proudly announced on the video above. If doing ok for yourself includes wearing parachute pants and praising the Lord.
Scott Baio's Bitch Slap
By PopCultureWhore

I’ve just had a chance to peruse some of the trash I’ve accumulated on my DVR of late and the summer shit storm is in full effect. The selection that has prompted the most discussion among my friends, however, would be Vh1’s trainwreck “Scott Baio is 45 and Single”.

Baio, formerly of Chachi and Charles in Charge fame, is now 45 and questioning why he has yet to settle down. To wrap his head around this conundrum, Baio has hired a life coach, who has ordered him to remain celibate and track down his former girlfriends for insight on his lothario past. Think “High Fidelity” if that were written by a drunken producer from “The Surreal Life”.

Sample e-mails in the last few days alone include:

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“Dude, you’re 45 – COME ON!”

“I change a dozen diapers a day, open juice bags, run baths and Scott Baio finds flaws in gorgeous women.”

“Is he for real? Chicken?”

The last remark refers to Baio’s first ex-girlfriend visit, to which he brings a bucket of chicken from KFC as a gift – for no reason. She – and basically every other girlfriend Baio tracks down – tells him he was an asshole because he cheated on them relentlessly.

I’ll admit to wanting Charles in charge of me at one point, but I also had a thing for Davy Jones back in the day, so let’s not trust my judgment on 80s heartthrobs. Regardless, any love I had for Charles dissipated immediately upon viewing his extended adolescence.

Baio basically has contempt for any activity that doesn’t involve him guzzling liquor while two feet away from a stripper’s boobs or $10,000 worth of poker chips (are rerun royalties really that lucrative?). He says something to the effect of “There’s nothing I hate more than the sound of a woman’s voice in the morning” when his life coach phones him in Palm Springs with an assignment. The simplest tasks elicit temper tantrums. He almost has a seizure attending a “Happy Days” autograph signing event. His idiot best friend tries to sabotage his marriage efforts at every turn so he can sample Charles’ cast offs.

Time will tell if this is scarier than “The Two Coreys”, which apparently debuts tonight, but I don’t know if I can bring myself to actually watch. Basically I can’t wait for this to happen to our current teen sensations: “The Cheerleader is 37 and Lost Her Botox Prescription”, “Walt Will Kill You”, “Bravo Presents: Turtle’s New Entourage”, “Gilmore Trannies”, etc.


Saturday, July 21, 2007

You're PMS'ing Pretty Bad, Huh?
By PopCultureWhore

Dwight + Pam + Michael = Emmy magic. The Emmy nominations were announced this week and there was plenty of love for my favorite, “The Office”. Rainn Wilson (Dwight) and Jenna Fischer (Pam) secured what I believe are their first nods for supporting roles, while Steve Carrell (Michael) got a nomination for lead actor in a comedy series. The rest of the cast was not forgotten, however, as the show was also nominated for best comedy series. If Rainn does win, I hope he reenacts Dwight’s speech (“Blood alone moves the wheels of history!”).

More nominees, predictions, wish lists after the jump:

Drama Series:
Boston Legal
Grey’s Anatomy
The Sopranos

I actually only watch The Sopranos and given that it recently ended, I’d put my money on the family. House is a favorite among the award show crowd, but usually only for Hugh Laurie. Heroes could emerge as a surprise winner given its following, but I’m going to predict Sopranos.

Lead Actor in a Drama Series:
Kiefer Sutherland, 24
James Spader, Boston Legal
Hugh Laurie, House
Denis Leary, Rescue Me
James Gandolfini, The Sopranos

Again, only watch Sopranos. And again, Hugh Laurie is an Emmy favorite, but James Gandolfini will probably take home the gold. Kiefer’s received some award action in his time, but the Sopranos machine might be too much to topple.

Lead Actress in a Drama Series:
Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU
Patricia Arquette, Medium
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Minnie Driver, The Riches
Edie Falco, The Sopranos

I’d say Kyra and Edie are the two to beat. If I had to choose one, I’d go Kyra just because Carmela’s story line wasn’t as intriguing this season as in years past.

Supporting Actor, Drama:
William Shatner, Boston Legal
TR Knight, Grey’s Anatomy
Masi Oka, Heroes
Terry O’Quinn, Lost
Michael Emerson, Lost
Michael Imperioli, The Sopranos

TR Knight might win some support because of the Grey’s scuffle this year, but my vote’s for Michael Imperioli. Christopher’s bloody demise at the hands of Tony after years of battling alcoholism, drug addiction and conflicting desires for his future was shocking and heartbreaking and deserves recognition. I’d be surprised if a Lost cast member took it home, even though we got a lot of background (and intense stares) on John Locke this season. Shatner and Masi will probably split the nerd vote.

Supporting Actress, Drama:
Rachel Griffiths, Brothers & Sisters
Sandra Oh, Grey’s Anatomy
Chandra Wilson, Grey’s Anatomy
Katherine Heigl, Grey’s Anatomy
Aida Turturro, The Sopranos
Lorraine Bracco, The Sopranos

Eh, I’m actually not thrilled by anyone in this category. I loved Rachel on Six Feet Under but never got into Brothers & Sisters. Maybe I’ll go with Aida because Janice was just so maddeningly self-centered, yet intriguing. I imagine one of the Grey’s chicks will actually take it home, though.

Comedy Series:
30 Rock
The Office
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty

Obviously I’m going to go for The Office because it makes my Thursdays bright, though I’m also a big fan of 30 Rock. Entourage has been a little flat this season despite the Medellin fiasco and Ugly Betty’s camp is entertaining but occasionally annoying. Two and a Half Men is basically a more mature Full House. It’s going to come down to The Office and Ugly Betty.

Lead Actor in a Comedy Series:
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Extras, Ricky Gervais
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Steve Carrell, The Office
Charlie Sheen, Two And a Half Men

Alec Baldwin has taken home a number of well-deserved awards for his role on 30 Rock, but the irate voicemails he left for daughter Ireland earlier this year might work against him come Emmy time. That could help Steve Carrell step in and take home the prize. Extras is hilarious, but Ricky Gervais kind of serves as a foil to the babblings of his dim-witted sidekick and the various celebrity guest stars rather than leading man. Charlie Sheen really can’t beat Steve Carrell and don’t get me started on Monk.

Lead Actress in Comedy Series:
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Felicity Huffman, Desperate Housewives
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
America Ferrera, Ugly Betty
Mary Louise-Parker, Weeds

Emmy loves Julia Louis-Dreyfus so my bet is on her. Tina Fey has done a great job with 30 Rock, but she’s basically a foil for Alec Baldwin. America could be Julia’s biggest competition (she took home the Golden Globe), but Emmy loves the old guard. Felicity’s great, but can Desperate Housewives just die already? The handful of “Weeds” episodes I’ve seen were amusing, but Elizabeth Perkins was more engaging than Mary Louise-Parker.

Supporting Actor, Comedy:

Kevin Dillon, Entourage
Jeremy Piven, Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Rainn Wilson, The Office
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men

Dwight! I was really happy to see Rainn Wilson’s name on this list because he was hilarious this season on The Office. Kevin and Jeremy might split the Entourage vote, but Ari’s been a little restrained this season anyway. Of the few episodes I’ve seen, Neil Patrick Harris is pretty funny on HIMYM, but he’s no Dwight.

Supporting Actress, Comedy:
Jaime Pressly, My Name is Earl
Jenna Fischer, The Office
Conchata Ferrell, Two and a Half Men
Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds

It’s between Jenna Fischer and Vanessa Williams for me, personally. Elizabeth Perkins could be a surprise win and Jaime Pressly has received oddly glowing reviews. I’ll go out on a limb and say Jenna Fischer because her Pam character was allowed to do more than answer the phone and stare longingly at Jim this season.

Reality Program:
Antiques Roadshow
Dog Whisperer
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
Penn & Teller: Bullshit

I mention this category only because I love “My Life on the D-List”. Kathy did some hilarious bit in her stand-up routine about how she jokingly bitched out the team from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition when she lost to them last year. She said she’d probably never be invited back again, but she made it.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I Belong to BoomKat
By PopCultureWhore

“Making the Band” is back on MTV but it unfortunately does not involve my favorite trannies, Danity Kane. This time Diddy is looking to recapture the magic of the boy band, but these guys are more kumbaiya than cat fight. Except for a brief battle over who ate someone’s food and a laughable living room sing-off with the “new guys”, this season’s crop of MTBers have been far too mature and focused for an MTV reality show. Bring back the ladies!

Even more tragic is the lack of BoomKat. Everyone’s favorite spastic choreographer shows up briefly to wipe away tears as various contestants bleat their way through “Down on Bended Knee”, but save for one hilarious scene in which BoomKat dons a barely there blue leotard, MTB4 is seriously lacking in some quality BoomKat psycho crazy fun time.

And seriously, is it 1992? I mean, I loved me some Boyz II Men back in the day. My friends and I made up a dance to “Motown Philly” in sixth grade, there was a tearful middle school slide show set to “End of the Road” and there’s a strong possibility I lip synched in the mirror to Mariah’s part on “One Sweet Day”, but this season’s wannabe boy banders (or producers) seem just a tad obsessed with all things Boyz II Men.

I’m not going to go into a breakdown of the contenders just yet given that Diddy keeps adding a dozen or so new “soldiers” every episode. But seriously boys, you have some tough, daisy duke clad shoes to fill. Make me believe it’s 1992 again.