Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Shanghai Surprise 2007
By PopCultureWhore

I am jetting my Pop Culture Whore self off to China tomorrow until April 14 so there will be no blog posts until I return! In the interim, check out my favorites like DListed, ONTD, Best Week Ever blog, etc and all the other whorecakes on the sidebar --->
'Paradise' City Breakdown
By PopCultureWhore

It seems that paradise isn’t all it’s cracked up to be; at least not when the cast of “Paradise City” is involved. Emotions flared and tempers ran high this week. Rick summed it up with, “this is not relationship city; this is sin city.”

Most of the main events of Sunday’s “Paradise City” took place during Anthony’s poker party. “Who is Anthony?” you may ask. Don’t fret, I asked the same question only to be reminded by none other than his biggest fan Rick that Anthony headlines his very own Vegas show hypnotizing people for the amusement of his audience. (Eye roll here)

Most of the “Paradise City” crew is in attendance at the poker party. Anthony, Willie and April kick off the festivities. Jenner arrives with Laci, and Greta arrives tucked under Rick’s arm. I think Jack may have been there but who knows and frankly, who even cares? Surprisingly, Molly and her fake nails did not show up. Apparently, her job always comes first.


At the poker party, all the guys gang up on April about her nonexistent boyfriend. No matter how much April adamantly denies this figment of Molly’s imagination, the guys won’t let up until April, 30 going on 13, finally storms out, unable to take the taunts any longer. Rick follows, of course.

The big discussion finally ensues and Rick reveals that Molly is the one who let it slip that April had a boyfriend. April is obviously floored judging by the way her chin scrapes the ground. Anyway, they talk and make up and I guess live happily ever after, at least until next week.

April eventually confronts Molly about her mean girl behavior. Molly confesses that she may have said something like April “dates” other people but she really couldn’t care less about Rick (yeah right!). It is true what they say, misery sure does love company. I crossed my fingers hoping April would slap that silly, condescending smile right off Molly’s face or better yet, pluck each of those tacky, plastic nails off of her fingers and shove them up her nose. Unfortunately, my wish was not granted.

On a more serious note, the winner for best drama queen in a reality series goes to GRETA! She had a hysterical, babbling meltdown to rival anything any A-list actress could throw out. When Willie received a mysterious phone call and made his exit, Greta spun out of control into this sniveling, snotting, crying, yelling wreck. Poor, pitiful Greta. I feel sorry for the girl. She’s like an abandoned puppy dog, drooling and sniffing around anybody that shows her a little attention. A piece of advice for Greta, make them work for your undying love and admiration, don’t just give it to every Tom, Rick, and Willie!

I especially feel sorry for the girl because she showed off her dramatic flair way to early in the season. Where is the buildup? The girl lost it as if Willie didn’t just tell her, last week, that he wanted to be FRIENDS. He even admitted to her that he was not boyfriend material. I propose that we, as the audience, take up a collection for Greta to help her buy a clue.

Willie does eventually apologize for hurting her little feelings and she smiles, and I guess everything is right with her world again.

Completely outdone by the drama surrounding Aprick and Willeta, Jack and Jenner go on another sweet date to the desert. A blanket, a bottle of wine and a friendly dog makes for a boring, boring date. In real life, that’s sweet, but this isn’t real life this is REALITY TV and dates in reality TV world just are not sweet and cuddly. They should take a page from the ‘I Love New York’ book.

Stay tuned…

Monday, April 02, 2007

I Live With Your Stuff
By PopCultureWhore

Did Whitney get the damn job? I sat through that atrocious "Hills" season finale after-show to see if they might shed some light on the situation, but all I got was a sparkly dress and Whitney telling us that she was preparing to graduate. I imagine that means that Super Emily prevailed, but come on! That ruffled shirt probably sealed her fate.

I love that Lauren has become the cynic of “The Hills.” When Heidi announced that she was moving in with Spencer, Lauren smirked, responded “What could go wrong?” in a sing-songy voice and unceremoniously left for work. Earlier, she was quite blasé when Heidi expressed concern that she would be leaving Lauren alone if she left the apartment. “You don’t even live with me. I live with your stuff,” Lauren answered.

Spencer naturally continued his reign of sleaze. He told Brody that he was only pressuring Heidi to move in with him to get her away from Lauren. He also announced that he had a “girlfriend phone” and a homeboy phone. Later, he told Heidi that he was “still sort of mad” at her for taking so long to decide to move in with him. WTF?

The award for best conversation goes to Elodie and Heidi:

Heidi: I’m going to cook him dinner for [Spencer] tonight. I’ve never cooked for him before.
Elodie: Have you ever cooked dinner?
H: No
E What are you cooking?
H: I think pasta, or something easy.
E: I mean do you even have all the equipment to cook
H: Oh god, no, I have to go get it.
E: What’s it called?
H: Dinner?
E: No.
H: Pasta?
E: No, the equipment to cook. Oh, pots and pans!
H: No, yeah, I have to go get all that
E: Well, good luck with that!

Meanwhile, the debut of "Taquita and Kaui" was the most depressing 30 minutes of television I’ve ever watched. T&K are “Making the Band 3” cast offs trying to make it big in Las Vegas. On the one hand, it appears to be an accurate portrayal of how difficult it is to “make it” in show business, but on the other hand, I felt kind of dirty “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic” style after looking at that grimy motel, cheesy casino magic show and Vegas buffet lunch. Ick.
Get the F&*K Out of This House!
by PopCultureWhore

This is actually quite ingenious. Some guy wraps up the last 10 years of Sopranos in 7.5 minutes in preparation for the premiere of the final season on April 8.
Alanis Covers Fergie, World Weeps
By PopCultureWhore

Alanis Morisette must have some time on her hands now that she doesn't have Ryan Reynolds around for naked time (...) She's channeled her break-up energy into a maudlin cover of Fergie's "My Humps". Basically it makes me want to kill myself, much like the rest of her material. For real kicks, though, check out video of a drag queen making fun of "Fergalicious". Make sure you wait until you get to the shot of him (her?) rolling around on the bed.