Hot Child in the City - PopCultureWhoreNYC@gmail.com

Monday, March 12, 2007

Divorce, Y'all!
By PopCultureWhore













“There is a trashy-ass couple on who already have two kids. The ‘bride’ just shoved fake chicken cutlet boobs into her ghetto David’s Bridal dress. Yikes.”

My friends understand my love of crap-tastic MTV reality shows and “Engaged & Underaged” is no exception. So when my friend Nicole sent me the e-mail above, I knew there was going to be a special treat waiting for me at home on my DVR.

Now, you might think that tonight’s episode featuring the 19-year-old pregnant girl who looks suspiciously like Amanda Bynes or the woman who waxed her future daughter-in-law’s hoo-ha might take the Golden Twinkie of Trash prize, but trust me, the Florence, KY two-some of Josh and Ashley win by a landslide.

Gawker.com has this segment where they rate the NYT wedding section like a Fantasy Football type thing, with points gained for Ivy League graduates, doctors, Hampton homes, board memberships and the like. Let’s do that with Josh and Ashley, Kentucky style:

Mother of the bride resembles substitute PE teacher: -4
Bridge and groom wear bandanas during their episode: +2
Honeymoon suite includes dead animal heads: +8
Mother of the bride threatens to kill groom: +5
Glow-worm of a daughter is named Neveah (“Heaven” backwards): +10
Son is cute enough to do commercials that would support family: +3
Wedding reception at a VFW: -1
Groom wakes up on wedding day with permanent marker on face: +4
Bride angry over bachelor party strip club outing: +1
Bride not old enough to legally drink champagne toast: +3
Bride is already a “former” beauty queen at age 18: +1
Water tower in your town says “Florence, Y’all”: +15

Click HERE to read the E&U blog.

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