Hot Child in the City - PopCultureWhoreNYC@gmail.com

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Hey Brody, You So Fine?
By PopCultureWhore



Can we talk about Brody Jenner for a minute? Why is this guy getting so much tail? Rumor has it that his latest conquest is Lindsay Lohan, who reportedly responded to a text with “McDonald’s and sex” when he asked what she wanted.

Obviously, he’s an attractive guy but his brief stints on “The Hills” this season as LC’s latest crush have been positively vomit inducing. He does nothing more than compliment LC’s smile and her eyes, but he does it in a way that suggests all he has to do is utter, “I just love your eyes” and the panties will come flying off. Now I know that LC is not the sharpest tool in the shed, given that her previous loves have included Laguna Beach boys Stephen and Jason, but is she seriously buying this tripe? She at least called him a “cheese ball” in this week’s episode, but then proceeded to make out with him.

[That gang is at Area]

B: You look amazing, by the way. I’m being serious
LC: You’re so nice.
B: You have the most beautiful eyes, honestly, I’ve ever seen. I’m being … I really do.
LC: Thank you.
B: I like you. I want to hang out with you.
LC: (coy smile)

[Cut to Brody’s condo]

B: Did you have fun tonight?
LC: (nods) Did you?
B: Yes, I had an amazing time.
[Goes in for the kiss and scores]
B: Give me a hug. [She complies]. I’m so glad I’m with you right now. I swear to God, there is nowhere else I would rather be than with you right now.
LC: You little cheese ball.
B: I’m a cheese ball? Why am I a cheese ball? Shut up. I, like, really would not want to be anywhere else.
LC: Thank you.
B: Why are you thanking me? I’m just being real with you. I love seeing you smile.
LC: Well, you make me smile.
B: You have a beautiful smile.
LC: Thank you!

[Earth is sucked into black hole. End scene.]

Also, I’m wondering what makes LA nightclubs like Area any more exclusive and fabulous than a run-of-the-mill club in New York or LA? As my roommate pointed out, they were playing Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” in the background on opening night. Where were the hottest DJ’s and exclusive tracks from Britney, JT and the like? Somehow I don’t think most of these kids were there for the music.


And this? Seriously?


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