Monday, November 06, 2006

Busty Salma
By PopCultureWhore

Salma Hayek made a guest appearance on “Ugly Betty” this week and took her shirt off in an elevator. Let’s just say girlfriend has some good genes and makes me rethink the push-up bra section at Victoria's Secret.
Lohan Does Oprah
By PopCultureWhore

“Dreams Come True With Lindsay Lohan and Emilio Estevez.” Is she helping the Mighty Ducks become men? No, she and Emilio are appearing on Oprah tomorrow to promote the upcoming “Bobby.” Previews make it look like Oprah shows Lindsay what’s what (asking her about White Oprah perhaps?), but Oprah had probably never heard of this trollop before the show (and rightly so) and I hope she mispronounces her name or something. Lindsay probably thinks she deserves the whole hour, but she’s only one of four segments. I can't wait to hear her opinions on RFK, the 60's and Vietnam.

Britney on Letterman Tonight
By PopCultureWhore

Britney Spears is making an appearance on David Letterman tonight (above). Apparently she doesn’t do much except show off the fact that she knows how to operate a treadmill post-baby number two, but the mere fact that she will be appearing has gotten the blogosphere in a tizzy (Take note K-Fed). Here’s a throwback to a pre-K-Fed Britney Letterman appearance. A moment of silence, please.

Hey, They Work!
By PopCultureWhore

Reports that Mario “AC Slater” Lopez will reprise the Patrick Swayze role for a “Dirty Dancing” remake are probably totally untrue, but it’s a great excuse to re-post the “Buddy Bands” segment from Saved by the Bell. Mario does a mean cabbage patch-pelvis thrust combo. I hope the DD thing is a rumor because we don’t need another shit remake of a movie that was basically sub-par to begin with. I know, I know. I’m abnormal because it doesn’t make me cry and want to dance, screw and facilitate a back-alley abortion at a 1960’s Poconos resort, but rest assured, I’m still inspired to scream, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner!!” after a few cocktails.
Poor K-Fed?
By PopCultureWhore

By some small miracle, K-Fed’s NYC show at Webster Hall Saturday was not cancelled and he did his Mr. Spears thing for a handful of drunken voyeurs, members of the press, tickets winners (losers?), bloggers and foreigners, but not Ms. Britney herself.

K-Fed slammed the media (again) for their negative portrayal of the wannabe rapper, but as Stereogum pointed out, “the media is hating on you because you suck.” They were also none too impressed with his dancing skills (“That shit was sad … Wasn’t that supposed to be the one thing at which he was actually good?”)

Michael K from DListed was also in attendance and even liquor didn’t help matters much. “I went to see this trash on Saturday night in NYC and let me just say that there were honestly like 150 people there. The joint holds 1600, so you do the math,” he writes. “I couldn’t tell if bitch is fat or not, because I was too intoxicated. Intoxication is a must if you’re watching this kind of mess. I’m not sure what took place, but there was a lot of crotch grabbing and a lot of “all the ladies in the house” type dialogue. I think at one point he made us chant “Fuck You K-Fed” over and over again [see video above], which was very easy to do. Second nature, if you will. The highlight of the evening was when the bartenders started screaming “We Want Britney!”

I'm torn between feeling a little (tiny) bit sorry for him, given that he's trying and all, but then again, most barely high school educated wannabe rappers don't get rap deals, Ferraris and shows at Webster Hall before ever selling one record, so if you can't make it work when it's handed to you on a silver platter (Britney paid for), then that's your own damn fault.