Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Your Body is a DD Wonderland
By PopCultureWhore

Today’s odd couple of the day is Jessica Simpson and John Mayer. He probably figured she was the only one who’d find his comedy routine humorous. I don’t really see Papa Joe liking this pairing. Jessica needs a studly little himbo who likes sports and boobs. John Mayer is a pasty little pudgeface who likes crap rock and boobs. He’d probably kick Daisy and demand a beer.

In other Simpson news, Ashlee Simpson will be joining the London cast of "Chicago" as Roxie Hart. Pop stars rountinely lip sync across the pond so she'll feel right at home!

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Just Another Day In the Office
By PopCultureWhore

Christina Aguilera arrives at a costume party she hosted for those who helped her with her latest album, Back to Basics. Posted by Picasa
Tuesday Crazy
By PopCultureWhore

Jon Voight is one Lifetime movie away from the nuthouse. Angelina’s estranged father was at the BAFTA Tea Party (which sounds like an invite to padded wall central, but is really the Brit version of the Oscar luncheon) when he sent birthday wishes to grandson Maddox via the press. He then proceeded to send his best to Shakira. What? He actually meant granddaughter Zahara, but screwed up her name. Oops! Jon hasn’t seen any of Angie’s three children seeing as how he told “Access Holllywood” that she needed help for mental problems back in the Billy Bob days. If my daughter were wearing blood around her neck and having sex with Billy Bob Thornton in the back of limos, I’d probably tell her she was a wacko too, albeit in a less public forum.

Watch the Shakira/Zahara mishap HERE.

Angelina, meanwhile, has popped up in ads for Shiseido cosmetics (above) looking like an alien in heat.
There is a God
By PopCultureWhore

Paris Hilton’s debut album is tanking fast thanks to competition from the likes of Christina Aguilera and Danity Kane. While Christina sold approximately 320,000 albums in her first week, Paris only managed to hawk about 75,000 records. That number is expected to tumble to 30,000 this week, putting her on the low end of the Billboard Top 100. "The international outlook is not much better for her," reports Page Six. "The international people are not inclined to do a big push since she can't back up the album with a tour. Obviously, she can't sing live."

Hilton rep Elliot Mintz was unphased. "To me, [the album] sounds huge. For a newcomer, this is incredibly impressive." Mintz, by the way, is basically paid to be Hilton’s personal escort, as described in a recent New York Times profilePosted by Picasa
Belated Emmy Wrap Up
By PopCultureWhore

With the Mariah, Justin and Beyonce action this weekend, I’m a little behind on the Emmy news. But I watched it last night on my DVR and overall, it was pretty uneventful. With the exception of Conan’s amusing opening sketch and a nip slip care of an “Office” cast member, the proceedings were rather run of the mill.

“The Office” took home a well-deserved trophy for favorite comedy show, and “24” cleaned up with awards for Kiefer and the cast in the drama category. The guy from Monk, Karen from “Will and Grace” and Blythe Danner (Huff) were all repeat winners, but Jeremy Piven’s hilarious turn as Ari on “Entourage” earned him his first Emmy – after a verbal smack down with Billy Bush of “Access Hollywood” on the red carpet, of course.

In one last tribute to his campy legacy, the stars of the 70’s and 80’s came out to toast producer Aaron Spelling, including Heather Locklear (Dynasty, TJ Hooker, Melrose Place), Stephen Collins (7th Heaven) and Joan Collins (Dynasty).

And the original Charlie’s Angels. Farrah was like a teary little schoolgirl who’d just lost her bottle of Vicodin.

Tori Spelling was in attendance for the tribute to her late father, but she did not sit near mother Candy and brother Randy.

I didn’t see too many obvious fashion faux pas, save for a rather loopy Paul Abdul. Kyra Sedgwick got slammed for this billowy gray number, which could have been saved if she’d snipped the gargantuan flower off the front.

Tyra Banks also looked like an 80's pageant queen, Eva Longoria channeled ancient Greece and some double stick tape, and Ellen Pompeo's ears made her look like a "Lord of the Rings" elf. Posted by Picasa
Adventures of Scantily Clad Mimi
By PopCultureWhore

Mariah Carey hit Continental Airlines Arena in NJ on Sunday night and hit the high notes in all her streetwalker glory. After a rather rambunctious opening set from Sean Paul (who uttered the phrase “sexy ladies” approximately 345 times), Mimi emerged sporting this ensemble:

For the average 36-year-old (Sarah Jessica Parker’s SATC outfits notwithstanding), black booty shorts, a bra top and flowing, sheer robe might seem like a poor fashion choice. But this is Mariah, a woman who wore stilettos on a treadmill during her MTV “Cribs” appearance. In person, the outfit works – big hair, big voice, small outfits. Madonna gives you riding crops and a crown of thorns, Mariah gives you cleavage and pounds of hair extensions.

Questionable fashion aside, Mariah’s voice was in top form as she handily ran through old songs (Vision of Love, Dreamlover, Heartbreaker, My All, I’ll Be There) and incorporated newer ones (We Belong Together, It’s Like That). The only annoying part of the show was that during costume changes, she turned control of the show over to two DJ’s, who played random hip hop songs that had nothing to do with Mariah. It messed with the flow of the show and (shockingly) took the focus away from Miss M. She would’ve been better served to have an extended dance sequence featuring her dancers or some sort of video production set to remixes of her songs.

Click HERE for Contributor Eugenia's assessment of Mariah and Janet's fashion choices ...

Memo to Mariah and Janet …
By Eugenia B.

Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson should form a club together, a club in which they shop for pre- teen, shrunken, half tops while simultaneously punching each other in the abs and saying things like, "Boo Ya! Your abs are tight ‘sista". Yes we get it, you lost the weight and that great for everyone involved, expect people who have to look at your ridicules circa ‘92 outfits, we are not amused and are in fact a little sickened. In the last picture I saw of Mariah Carey, in which she was wearing what closely resembled the sheer seductive curtain separating the champagne room from the strip club, I thought to myself: Good for her, she looks fantastic. See there, that’s me lying through my godamn teeth. Did you fall for it? No? Fantastic? No! I didn’t think so. Maybe if someone wrote Mariah and Janet identical memos which said "Every time you wear something that shows your belly, or slip into a garment that looks like a shark attempted to have it for lunch, God kills a kitten." Or maybe, for Mariah, we should use horses as an example, we all know how much she loves horses. Poor horses, they don’t stand a chance.
More Pics From 'Ellen' Premiere
by PopCultureWhore

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A Stroll In the Park With JT, Beyonce
By PopCultureWhore

It was a daytime dance revolution in Central Park today as thousands lined Fifth Avenue to get a glimpse of Ellen, Justin and Beyonce. I convinced my mother to come in from New Jersey and we trekked over from my apartment to join the masses. By a stroke of idiotic genius, we got in the line for those with guaranteed seating tickets instead than the lawn seating I’d signed up for. But a lovely couple from Hartford behind us offered up two extra tickets they’d acquired and two hours later, we were in place for Ellen’s Central Park debut.

Justin emerged with producer Timbaland to sing his latest single “SexyBack” before sitting down with his host. Ellen of course quizzed him on the status of his relationship with Cameron Diaz by asking if she should reserve a bridesmaid dress for their wedding. Justin replied that she could indeed put in an order, but that she’d have to make sure she remained the same size for the next 15 years. Poor Cammie. JT also backpedaled on the anti-Taylor Hicks comments he made to “Fashion Rocks” magazine by saying that he is fascinated by the show and that he does not think that he’d be able to perform on a show like American Idol due to the negativity from the judges.

He then performed a new song called “My Love” before launching into crowd pleasers “Cry Me a River” and “Senorita.”

Ellen then announced that she had a surprise for the audience in the form of a second hour-long taping featuring Beyonce. After a somewhat prolonged setup process, Beyonce emerged with her all-female band in a yellow, knee-length dress (above) to sing a Tina Turner inspired version of “Déjà vu.” She followed that up with a somewhat catchy new song about her man being replaceable should he misbehave before rocking out to “Crazy in Love.” If she can ditch the atricous "Ring the Alarm," the album might be saved!

I will say that whenever I see shots of Beyonce, I just figure they are photoshopped like any celebrity photographs, but in person, she really is quite gorgeous. Ellen also quizzed her on her marital status. She denied being engaged to Jay-Z but praised him for being a smart businessman and expressed a desire to slow down by age 30.

Random tidbits:
** I saw one paparazzo with the zoom lense looking to snap pictures of JT.
** I spotted Justin’s manager Johnny Wright, or Johnny Record Producer of “Making the Band” fame, on the sidewalk near 98th St. He greeted someone and mentioned that he’d seen them on the Teen Choice Awards. Maybe Timbaland?
** Beyonce’s team had some guy driving around in a Hummer that was adorned with the cover art from her upcoming album, B’Day.