Friday, August 18, 2006

I Was Cursed
By PopCultureWhore

Project Runway’s favorite bundle of sunshine, Alison, is not taking her defeat lightly. She tells Entertainment Weekly that her ousting this week was likely due to her serene personality and her big, fat model. “I was, like, really peaceful and likable,” she said. “I think I didn't bring enough drama.” Her model was “absolutely gorgeous, but she shouldn't be a runway model. She's maybe a size 8 or a 10. She's not thin at all.” Ouch. Seems Alison got the short (and chubby) end of the stick. “I had the model with scoliosis the first time — that's why I don't think I won the dog challenge. And this time, my model chose me. I was like, ''Oh no!'' Stay tuned for the PCW recap of this week’s episode.

Care Bear pic c/o FourFour. Posted by Picasa
Whore Links

K-Fed needs a loan (GQ)

Pam and Kid Rock make it legal for a third time. (People)

Mel Gibson gets probation (CNN)

The IRS wants in on the Oscar goodie bags (The Guardian)

Pete Doherty arrested for drugs. Duh. (AP)

Justin slams ‘Idol’ winner Taylor Hicks (E! OnlinePosted by Picasa
Billie Jean Is Not My Lover
By PopCultureWhore

Lindsay Lohan put her Michael Jackson-esque clothes on long enough to attend the 18th birthday party of Rumer Willis, daughter of Demi and Bruce. No word on if that bottle of Jack is somewhere in that hat, but at least there’s no side boob this time around.

Rumer can be secure in the fact that her mom’s second marriage will likely last for another few months. Ashton Kutcher has been all over the media lately proclaiming his love for wife Demi. He talked about his desire to do something special for her every day in Elle and then took to Parade magazine (…) to say that he and Demi have only had one argument during their relationship. Demi told me once, 'When you're right, that's all you get to be.' And for some reason, that made sense to me." Must be the zen of Kabalah.

Also in attendance at the partay were Courtney Love and daughter Frances Bean.

(Source) and (Source)
The Flavor of Class
By TellyWhore

Our favorite bachelor is back and once again, he is looking for love in all the wrong places. Chicken-eating, gold-tooth wearing, every sentence rhyming Flavor Flav has become VH1’s interpretation of an eligible bachelor with "Flavor of Love 2."

In case you are unfamiliar with him, he won fame in the 80’s as part of the group Public Enemy, building his career from a few well-placed “yeaaaah boys.” Flavor Flav is hip hop’s first hype man (for those of you who don’t know, a hype man is the other guy on the stage who mimics the more important, and more popular artist, known also for “hyping” up the crowd).

Having completely dropped off the face of the Earth and totally forgotten, Flavor Flav has regained notoriety in a major way in the last few years making appearances on The Surreal Life and Strange Love. If being dumped by the former beauty turned serious alcoholic Brigitte Nielson wasn’t eerie enough, VH1 hit ratings jackpots last year as they created a new show, The Flavor of Love, where Flavor Flav had his pick of twenty girls, in the end, choosing one to wear his gold-plated grill. But it seems that the love affair was brief and Flavor Flav is back for his second chance at love and romance.

Somehow, Flavor Flav, well into his 40s, has managed to assemble a group of more outrageous, more outlandish, more uncivilized 20-somethings to compete for his affection. Imagine Miss America meets the Bachelorette at a seedy strip club around 3am and there you have the chosen few.

The season premiere aired on August 6, so if you’ve missed the first episode, allow me to get you up to speed. Flavor Flav used nicknames again this season instead of their birth given names. Flav (as he is affectionately called) isn’t nicknaming the girls words like Brainy, or Smarty, or Intelligence. Oh no, he has chosen more appropriate names like those that one might give to a stripper, perhaps…names like Bootz (because he wants to knock them…that’s Flav’s not mine) and Delisshis (this is not a misspelling).

Of course, I have to mention the fight that took place in the first 15 minutes of the show, a fight that was re-played at least five more times during the 90 minute episode and the bodily removal of a loud and a little “off” house guest. In her defense, she did offer the girl some lip chap. There was also an incident with a young lady who left “sumthin” on the floor and the steps, but I refuse to go any further on that incident. You can use your imagination.

All of this brings us to this week’s episode, where each of the girls is given 10 minutes to woo Flav in a literally blind date. To further illustrate how idiotic these females are, someone on the production team or script writing team thought it would be a good idea to give these a-little-less-than-high-school educated ladies a menu with items like escargot and filet mignon, and have them choose an entrĂ©e for Flav. Needless to say, few knew what they were choosing and the ever-prepared Flav had a bucket of KFC standing by just in case. He picked three girls, Like Dat, Buckwild and Tiger to accompany him on a private gondola date.

In the meantime, the other girls decided to entertain themselves with a raunchy game of truth or dare that included a separate nudity and lesbian scene. Only on VH1, right?

I watched this show with interchanging facial expression of disgust and pure pity. Even as I write this, reliving the shame I felt at witnessing this television catastrophe, I find my self looking forward to the next episode. And I’m not the only one. There is a large group of us out there, completely disgusted and enraged at the audacity of this show, yet we will tune in each week. What’s worst is that we secretly love it. We would never admit in a crowded room that we watch it, but if we were to spot any of the girls on the street, we would yell out their Flav-given name unabashedly. We are like a secret society of down-low watchers, always fearful that we will be discovered. Your secret is safe with me.
You're Either In or You're Way Out
By PopCultureWhore


So I watched the new season of “Laguna Beach” on Wednesday night and as my roommate put it, “I think I’m getting dumber just by watching this.”

It’s obvious that queen bees Kyndra and Cami are two of the more vapid and self-obsessed characters to grace reality TV of late and will likely provide me with many “what the fuck?” moments this season. It’s a pre-nose job Ashlee Simpson and her chunky amigo to the rescue.

But can we talk about Jessica for a minute?

I’m sure you all remember Jessica from last season of “Laguna Beach.” She dated Jason, most recently seen on “The Hills” as LC’s loser boyfriend, but she was so clingy, whiny and obnoxious that he dumped her ass for a girl named Alex before moving on to LC. Jessica wouldn’t let it die, however, confronting Alex about Jason at their senior prom (where Cami was his date) and later kissing Jason at a fashion benefit organized by LC, prompting Jason and LC’s first breakup.

Even though Jessica is now a high school graduate and is rumored to be attending a nearby community college, the first episode of season three finds her making a play for Cameron, a JUNIOR in high school. I haven’t really done the math, but if this season ends with Jessica being arrested for statutory rape, that would go down in my book as the greatest reality TV moment of all time.

But by making a play, I really mean she’s reenacting “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” without a hint of irony. During a dinner date with Cameron, she flips through his cell phone and grills him about text messages from Kyndra. That little trollop was hosting a weekend BBQ and Jessica asks Cameron about five different ways whether or not he’s going, to which he responds “yes” each time.

Oh, and this is Cameron.

I don’t get it either, but the ladies of Laguna are all aflutter over this beefy kid. Kyndra apparently sinks her hooks into him at her BBQ and he ends up spending the night. Um, parents? Anyone? At lunch the next day, Kyndra asks Cami if she thinks Jessica is interested in Cameron. “I hope so because it’s more fun that way,” she cackles.

At the party, she also iced out a group of classmates. “Those weirdos are here that I don’t want here,” she complained.

Kyndra had extended an invite to former friend and show narrator Tessa, but was miffed when Tessa also brought along her friend Rocky.

The ladies of the manor regrouped away from the “weirdos” and stared them down until they left. Now I went to an all-girls high school with only 36 girls in my class so cattiness was bound to arise, but it never got that bad.

Oh, and this is a shot of the Laguna cast and me, setting myself on fire in an effort to escape the insanity.

Jack to the Rescue (Again)
By PopCultureWhore

Here’s a little tidbit for fans of “Lost.” Matthew Fox, who plays Dr. Jack on the show, was spotted filming a scene for the show at a playground. In what is presumably a flashback scene, he is shown coming to the rescue of a young girl. I’ll bet you $20 this kid is now locked up in a hatch somewhere. Either that or she’s the pixie princess who has been serving as animal trainer to the island’s polar bears and black horses. She probably also supplements her income by selling smack to Charlie next season. "Lost" returns Oct. 4.