Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Shanna Is "Devestated"
By PopCultureWhore

Shanna Moakler has taken to MySpace to discuss the demise of her marriage to former Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker. It’s deep and grammatically challenged. Enjoy.

I can only say thank you to all those who have sent such touching letters, well wishes and prayers. i am very devestated and very much heartbroken over the demise of my marriage and for the upset of my family....I wanted nothing more to overcome the challenges we faced but failed. i truly believe that everything happens for a reason and i have complete faith in the heavens....i can honestly say i have been truly blessed with great family and friends and of course my children who are the main focus of my concern. I still very much believe in the power of love...i look back with no regrets and feel blessed for my experience and look forward with an open mind....i am very sad but it is remarkable to see the outpouring of support i have been offered...again thank you for all your letters and kind words. in this time please know i do read your letters but i am sorry if i cant respond.
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Move Y'all, Get Out the Way!
By PopCultureWhore

In her quest to keep her children “normal,” Britney Spears purchased a $400 replica of a Cadillac Escalade for her 11-month-old son, Sean Preston. It has spinning rims a workable radio and seat belts. He’s going to roll up to pre-school in style, bitch! Just don’t let Daddy borrow it or he might take it to Malibu and troll for some Sugar Tits of his own. Word.

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Ivanka Gives Good Airbrush
By PopCultureWhore

Ivanka Trump puts her Wharton education to good use on the cover of Stuff magazine this month. But she's looking a bit different from her appearance on Project Runway two weeks ago, dontcha think?

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Whore Links

** TomKat Pucker Up For the Cameras (DListed)

** Will Suri Appear in Vanity Fair? (PopSugar)

** Robin Williams In Rehab (People)

** Christina Goes Retro (Again) For Rolling Stone (Hollywood Rag)

** Nicolette Sheridan, Michael Bolton Dunzo (Again)? (X17)

** Aniston Reps Deny Marriage Rumors (Contact Music)
I'll Make You A Star!
By PopCultureWhore

Did anyone drink half a bottle of whiskey and watch the MTV Paris Hilton special last night like me? It was supposed to show the world that she is not the sex-obsessed airhead the media has made her out to be, but the only thing I learned was that she does not use the “baby talk” voice while at home. Otherwise, she’s still a stupid, spoiled whore.

Footage of her in the studio was laughable because she was barely opening her mouth (…) while “singing” her fluffy pop hits. If I’ve learned anything from watching my Danity Kane trannies lay down their tracks, it’s that you’ve got to open wide in order to enunciate. I’ll bet producer Scott Storch doctored the shit out of her songs in order to get into her pants. He also belongs to the Travis Barker school of pot, however, as the clouds of smoke literally trailed him everywhere and the camera cleverly cut off right before we could see what he was smoking.

We also saw Fat Joe, who said he ran into Storch and Paris at a club and was talked into coming back to Storch’s studio to listen to the songs Paris had recorded. He then jumped behind the microphone and rapped a little bit, but I had to fast forward before I got sucked into some sort of D-List vortex even Kathy Griffin would find horrifying.

I also loved the conversation between Paris and “Stars are Blind” video director Scott Applebaum. He also appeared to be under the influence and talked nonsensically about wanting Paris to be the hottest she’s ever been in his cutting edge vision. Naturally, hot = video shoot on the beach. Unfortunately, cutting edge only produced her writhing around in the sand and giving come hither looks.

Overall, the whole experience made me want to key her car and cut off the stupid pigtails she was sporting in the interview segment. If any one of you buys this trash, I’ll cut you!
So Happy Togeeeeether!!
By PopCultureWhore

US Weekly is reporting that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are engaged, but the weirdest part of the blurb on the rag’s Web site is that the engagement happened on a private plane while the couple was returning from a vacation at “Girls Gone Wild” founder Joe Francis’ Mexican retreat. Does he rent it out to whoever has the cash (and a penchant for being secretly videotaped) or are these two friends with this guy? I refer you to the colorful LA Times article on Mr. Francis, in which he reportedly roughed up the female reporter assigned to cover him and his scantily clad empire. It briefly mentions that Francis hosted Aniston and Vaughn, as well as Lindsay Lohan, but that seems more appropriate. I’m not even going to comment on the Jen-Vince engagement rumors because who fucking cares?

Back In the Studio, Y'all!
By PopCultureWhore

Slightly better than the mismatched fashion nightmare from earlier this week, but the platform flip flops really just scream “TRASH” rather that international pop princess. And what’s with the purple curtain shielding her and baby Sean Preston when she leaves a recording studio? I’m going to go ahead and assume it’s a Scientology ritual and that Britney has passed over the dark side and will soon be giving Sean P up to Xeon. Watch the video on X17, though, to see the hordes of paparazzi that followed her there. It’s really kind of ridiculous. Some people might like the attention, but that would seriously drive me to become a hermit.

They Can Share Makeup
By PopCultureWhore

Dave Navarro has moved on to bustier and kinkier things. Just weeks after announcing his separation from wife Carmen Electra, Dave confirms that he is romancing newly single porn star Jenna Jameson. I didn’t even know Jenna had broken up with her husband, but I guess I’m not as “in the know” about porn star happenings as I should be. From her Vh1 special, I know that she resolved to only have sex with him and other women on screen once they committed to one another. How sweet! They duo then moved to a gated community in Scottsdale, Ariz., where they faced protests from their conservative neighbors. On her MySpace page, however, Jenna writes that she and husband Jay “are working through things and remain best friends. Remember we are a couple with real problems.” What do they fight about? Did Jay pay the electric bill with fake money from a Hustler club? Did Jenna forget to buy milk and lube?

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