Saturday, August 05, 2006

Rollin' With My Homies
By PopCultureWhore

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m starting to doubt Diddy’s judgment as to what constitutes fresh and sexy in the hip hop world. Why else would he allow the ladies of Danity Kane to fall prey to the clich├ęs of hot cars, hot girls and barely-there outfits for their first music video? I realize the song, Showstopper, is about the ladies cruising in a phat ride and that might limit possible video themes, but if Christina Aguilera can turn “Dirrrty” into a “Fight Club” meets “Showgirls” boxing video and Britney Spears can address reincarnation via “Everytime,” I think Danity Kane can ditch the open-top Cadillac and come up with something more … show stopping.

That being said, what did the trannies actually produce?

Of the five, it seems like Shannon and D-Woods are the most uncomfortable with skanking it up. I just keep picturing Shannon as the married basketball half-time dancer with crimped hair and a stint on TV variety shows. I don't know that she'd ever rock gold jewelry and a plastic green jacket back in Costa Mesa, Calif.

D-Woods, meanwhile, needs to abandon the sexy and be the group's male influence, like Sporty Spice was for the Spice Girls.

What the hell was this?

The other three, meanwhile, were born to skank. And by "other three" I mean Aubrey.

We had sultry looks ...

Almost nip slips ...

Tacky jewelry ...

Biting on fake nails ...

Aundrea also gave it her best shot with requisite white bikini, gold jewelry, fake nails and blood red lipstick.

She also told Rudy what's what ...

And channeled Whitesnake video girl Tawny Kitaen for a little romp on the hood of a car.

Can we address what is considered a hot guy in the video world these days? I know "Aubrey like" just about everything, but did Diddy raid Janice Dickinson's modeling agency for these schlubs or something?

This guy is Todd from "Sweet Valley High" come to life ...

Meanwhile, BoomKat's efforts seem to be wasted here. Sure, they have a big dance sequence on Hollywood Boulevard, but the "dancing" is basically a lot of shimmy shake and head thrusts. After all the shit BoomKat gave vocal powerhouse "Dominique-age" during the auditions for not having the right moves (aka, washboard abs), they're barely dancing.

Oh yeah, Dawn was in the video too, but I blinked and missed it.

Watch the whole video HERE.
J'Adore Les Enfants De Baywatch
By PopCultureWhore

D-List baby news. I guess “Rock Star Supernova” host Brooke Burke was not behind the breakup of Dave Navarro’s split from Carman Electra because Brooke is knocked up care of Baywatch’s finest (and Carmen’s former co-star), David Charvet.

You remember him from the lifeguard station, his floppy hair unsuccessfully avoiding the advances of a pre-Kid Rock Pamela Anderson. He ran around with the little red buoy thing, pouted, got sage advice from The Hoff and diddled Nicole Eggert’s character, Summer.

He moved on to bigger and better things with Melrose Place, where he shacked up with Amanda Woodward and showed his dramatic side after the death of Sydney.

But his real talent lies in crooning for the ladies and he ended up being a major French pop star (above). Germany has David Hasselhoff; France has David Charvet. Will Spain be rewarded with David Chockachi?

Charvet was a good early 90’s heartthrob, but as ambiguously gay Baywatch hunks go, my heart belonged to Logan Fowler. Why? Because he was Australian and I was an idiot.

I guess Charvet and Brooke have been dating for awhile, though I sort of blocked that out. They had a lover’s quarrel a few months back (perhaps he thought “un bebe” might soil his sugary pop street cred?) Brooke has two rather normal looking kids with ex-husband and “Extreme Makeover” plastic surgeon Garth Fisher. Her testimonial about the effectiveness of Dr. Fisher’s video series is still on his Web site, though it seems she’s getting her plastic surgery kicks elsewhere lately.