Monday, July 24, 2006

Snakes on a Motherfu**ing Plane
By PopCultureWhore

It's almost time for the most ridiculous movie of the year - Snakes on a Plane. I'm not sure whether to be amused by this or horrified that this is going to make millions of dollars that could definitely be better spent elsewhere. Star Samuel L. Jackson was at San Diego's Comic-Con conference last week, as was the cast of the upcoming Spiderman movie, to promote SOAP. Was this thing a cartoon or was he appealing to the high-class nerd demographic? Check out the Snakes trailer HERE. It hits theaters Aug. 18.

Yes, Please

Escape from Obscurity
By PopCultureWhore

Kurt Russell is on tap to be the next 80’s star to have his career revived with the help of Quentin Tarantino. The “Overboard” star has been tapped to play the role of Stunt Man Mike in “Grindhouse,” a double feature Tarantino is producing with Robert Rodriguez. Mickey Rourke was originally going to play the role, but excessive plastic surgery makes Mickey a dull boy, I imagine.

"I've always wanted to work with Kurt Russell," Tarantino said Saturday at the annual Comic-Con International convention in San Diego. He said Russell’s character in “Escape from New York” is “one of the most iconic characters in the last 20 years.”

Rodriguez, meanwhile, screened his portion of “Grindhouse,” dubbed “Planet Terror,” at the convention. The intentionally scratched segment, featuring Rose McGowan wearing a machine gun leg, got a standing ovation from the 6,500 viewers.

The film debuts April 6.

Also on tap for Tarantino? Showing Chinese-language films at a Los Angeles theater for which he acquired the rights, a “Kill Bill” anime feature prequel about Bill and a separate one about the Bride.

Surprise! Madge Breaks Rules ...
By PopCultureWhore

Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” tops the list of 10 videos that “broke the rules,” according to MTV. “Ray of Light” comes in at number four, presumably for the technology used to produce the fast-paced video, and “Vogue” comes in at number five, though I’m not really sure why that’s more provocative than “Justify my Love,” which was banned entirely from MTV. Britney’s schoolgirl-inspired debut lands in second place and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” comes in at number three. Robbie Williams, Jamiroquai and the Spice Girls are also cited for the innovative tactics used in their videos.

What? No "November Rain?" Supermodel bridal deaths! Slash desert solos! Axl weeps!

1. Madonna - Like A Prayer (1989)
2. Britney Spears - Baby One More Time (1999)
3. Michael Jackson - Thriller (1983)
4. Madonna - Ray Of Light (1998)
5. Madonna - Vogue (1988)
6. Michael and Janet Jackson - Scream (1995)
7. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ (2000)
8. Eric Prydz - Call On Me (2004)
9. Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity (1997)
10. Spice Girls - Wannabe (1996)
Whore Links

Beauty Queen Down (People)

David Beckam: White Heat (PopSugar)

I Want Your (Dirty Park) Sex (News of the World)

Colin Fears for Family, Hair (People)

Tiger Unleashes his Inner Kitten (People)
Pass the Doritos
By PopCultureWhore

Canada's "Prince of Pot" is sharing his stash. Marc Emery, 48, married 21-year-old Jodie Emery (changed her last name? odd coincidence?) in a smoke-filled ceremony Sunday in Vancouver, British Columbia. About 100 guests gathered in Queen Elizabeth Park and passed joints as the duo took their vows.

Sadly, their love might have to be expressed via conjugal visits in the near future. Marc, head of the British Columbia Marijuana Party and publisher of Cannabis Culture magazine, was indicted a year ago in Seattle on charges of selling marijuana seeds through the mail via his Web site, conspiracy to manufacture pot and conspiracy to engage in money laundering. However, their love blossomed while Marc was in jail and Jodie transcribed his blog entries for him, so these two might make it after all.

First of all, who is Canada's King of Pot? The king is probably smart enough to not be trapped by the DEA. I also love this picture above, captioned on his Web site as "Marc and an innocent plant" like he's Bambi's mother or something.

And forget Angelina and the orphans, Brad and the hurricanes and Al and his polar ice caps. Marc needs your cash for his extradition fund. He conveniently accepts PayPal and all major credit cards. Dude.

Is Season Six On the Outs?
By SoapOperaWhore

This week on Big Brother: All Stars, Kaysar's head of household win insured one more week of the season six alliance in the house. Janelle and James wanted Kaysar to nominate members of chill town (Mike and Will), but Kaysar had a plan of his own and put Diane and Nakomis on the block. In Kaysar's eyes, Nakomis was a strong player and posed a serious threat to him in the game. He also wanted to create some chaos in the house by forcing the floaters to pick sides. This whole floater thing seems a bit ridiculous to me. Get rid of the strong players or at the very least get rid of the annoying players. Yes, I'm talking about Mike Boogie. We all know he is the bane of my existence.

Janelle and James seem to doubt Kaysar's strategy. Even Kaysar seems to doubt it because his target moves from Nakomis to Diane as the week progresses. He sees the value of keeping Nakomis in the house as an ally while he feels that Diane can be too easily swayed by the members of the chill town alliance.


Erika, George, and Will are randomly chosen to play for the veto with Kaysar, Diane, and Nakomis. Both Diane and Nakomis are gunning for the power of veto, but ultimately Erika, the sometimes member of the season six alliance, wins the veto. The house is abuzz with the thought that the veto could be used to put up a member of chill town.

Both Diane and Nakomis want Erika to use the veto on them, but neither one of them wants to campaign against the other. I realize that they are friends outside of the house, but this is a game. I'm not saying that either one of them should start trash talking the other but go to Erika and give her a reason to use the veto on you. At the very least, try to rally the votes in your favor. Putting forth your best effort to stay in the game is not stabbing your friend in the back. This is where these All Star editions get tricky because people have real relationships with each other outside of the house and sometimes they let that play too large a factor in their strategy.

Before the veto ceremony, Will is at the hot tub with everyone except the season six alliance and Marcellas (who seems to have taken the place of number five in the season six group). Will is trying to incite the house to rise up against season six, and even calls Kaysar out to issue a challenge to put him on the block. Kaysar doesn't take Will's bait, but Marcellas is quick to point out that this is the perfect opportunity to get rid of Will. Kaysar doesn't agree. Some of the houseguests wonder, including Kaysar's own alliance, if Kaysar made a deal with Mike and Will to save himself if he didn't put the two of them up. Janelle and James worry that his deal was not inclusive of the group.

Erika does not use the power of veto, although with some tricky editing and interesting word choice we are led to believe for a moment that she is going to. Even though Kaysar seemed to be leaning towards keeping Nakomis, I don't think that he wanted his nominees changed. He might have been content with keeping Nakomis in the house, but it doesn't seem to be a necessary part of his plan. Perhaps he didn't want to risk incurring the wrath of chill town? You already have that Kaysar. You might as well go for broke.

Yet again, Will is disappointed that he wasn't put up on the block. He wanted Erika to use the veto and be put up. It's some sort of odd insult to Will. The man is insidious, but the houseguests don't seem to be viewing him as a large enough threat to eliminate just yet. They may have missed their opportunity.

Just like Alison, Nakomis and Diane seem to have pegged Janelle as their target. Thank God Janelle has been in the seat of power or she would most certainly have been targeted. When Janelle or her allies don't have head of household I think the only thing that will be able to save Janelle is the veto. Janelle laments this to Marcellas who assures Janelle that he has her back, and for once in the Big Brother house someone is being truthful. Later in the diary room Marcellas confesses that he wants to take Janelle to the end with him. Partly because they would be so "aesthetically pleasing". I love Marcellas, but as far as strategy goes he leaves much to be desired.

Nakomis goes to Kaysar and the rest of season six to assure them that if she stays she isn't going after them. She wants to take out chill town. Lie. Nakomis knows that she can sway them to keep her so she is telling them exactly what they want to hear. Meanwhile, Diane lets chill town know that she won't campaign against Nakomis but if they wanted to save her she would love that. Just so you know Diane…that is campaigning. I don't begrudge it of the girl, but make no mistake: Diane is telling chill town to fight for her.

The house buzzes with the notion of the "Mr. and Mr. Smith" alliance: a secret deal made between Diane and Jase outside of the house to secretly align. The entire house seems convinced that it is fact. I'm not so certain. I won't say it's not true, but unlike the houseguests I do have some doubt in my mind.

Nakomis is evicted from the Big Brother house by a vote of 8-2. Before the houseguests can really let Nakomis's eviction sink in they are sent outside to the backyard for the head of household competition. They are asked a series of questions about clips of previous challenges in BB: All Stars. The players are quickly weeded out leaving James and Danielle vying for the HOH position.

It comes down to a tie breaker. Big Brother loves to use math problems - like how many seconds it took for someone to win a challenge - as tie breakers. That sort of thing comes down to luck. Lucky for season six it's James who wins. Season six remains in power. Or do they? This is the moment that James is going to have to show his hand. If he is really with season six, at least for now, his allies will remain safe. Will he take this time to break away from season six and gain favor with the rest of the house? Let's hope not. James seems to be honestly with his season six cast mates this time around, but James has been known to play people before.

Sunday is nominations and the reveal of where James truly stands in the house.

Previous Recaps:
BB All Stars: Strategery Abounds
And So It Begins ... BB: All Stars

So You Think You Can Waste Time
By Tiffany Westlie

So this week is a new formula for So You Think You Can Dance. Each dancer will pick a new partner, dance twice with that partner, and then do a solo in their own style. It’s getting serious people…

This week the judges are Jean Marc Generaux (Frenchie), Cicely and Alicia (Sastastic) and Nigel.

The first to pick a new partner is Ivan. He picks Miss Martha and they will be doing Hip Hop with Shane Sparks. I love Shane’s stuff, but in performance Martha doesn’t really bring it like I’m expecting her to. Nigel loves Shane’s stuff, as do I. He does state the obvious that Ivan danced Martha essentially out of this competition. Sastastic also hates on Martha saying that she really has yet to step it up. Frenchie notes that the dancing was fine but they didn’t have much chemistry.


Donyelle’s solo is now up. This girl has a booty and knows how to work it. She has beautiful makeup and just looks luminous. She brought it in every way and Nigel comments that it’s shocking to know that Hip Hop is her specialty yet she has excelled in every other area. Sastastic only wishes they could booty pop like her. Frenchie states that she is a “money player”. She is a favorite right now and totally deserves to be so.

Dmitry will now do his solo. He’s going to do the ballroom hip shake solo. Honestly he is the most masculine thing out there and I’m having problems ignoring the fact that on stage he just is liquid sex. The button to his solo is that he rips off his shirt. Wow. Nigel knows the ladies will love it. Sastastic is loving his Michel Jackson move. Frenchie says Dmitry has grown a lot. He’s yummy but on his way out soon.

Travis is up and picks little Heidi as his new partner. They will be doing paso doble. Crazy Mary is going to be teaching them and she keeps mentioning the fact that Travis needs to be “masculine”. Uh huh. The routine comes complete with some great mood lighting. They really get into the drama of the dance and honestly Travis really can throw Heidi around. The lifts are awesome. Someone in the audience has a sign that says “Travis is so limber.” His boyfriend perhaps? Nigel calls it the most dramatic performance yet. Sastastic can see them embodying the bull and the cape. Frenchie loved it!

Ryan is up to pick a new partner and he picks Allison. They will be doing a contemporary routine choreographed by Mia Michaels. Where has this Mia woman been? In rehearsal Ryan slams his face into Allison’s booty. He’s having some problems making the movement fluid. Her dance is kind of freaky but cool. In performance they are really stunning, amazing athleticism. Nigel thinks they did a good job picking up difficult choreography. Sastastic wants a little more from Ryan’s soul, they want him to melt into the movement more. Frenchie thinks their extensions were lovely and complements them on tackling a difficult piece.

Martha now does a very odd solo. I understand she wanted to show personality but instead it looks like she decided to dress for the Kentucky Derby. She wears a huge green hat and prances around the stage hardly showing the audience why she is really there. It’s a lot of posing and not much substance. Nigel doesn’t think she stepped it up. Sastastic thinks there is something missing in her performances. Frenchie just wants her to smile. Underneath that hat she is crying during their comments because she knows she’s already pretty much lost it.

Ivan comes out and does a funky solo with those tennis shoes with wheels. You know, the ones where kids all of a sudden are skating on their heels through supermarkets. It’s an odd choice, but kind of really cool. Nigel was somewhat impressed but a little put off by the gimmick. Sastastic wants him to get his eyes up and connect with the audience. Frenchie thinks it was fun but wants to see him really live up to his potential.

Dmitry so far has not been the best of luck for his partners. He picks Donyelle and she is so excited to be with the Russian hottie. They will Lindy Hop this week. They are super cute and act it really well. It’s fun and bouncy. The tricks seem a bit awkward but Dmitry really is a good partner when it comes to lifts and such. Nigel thinks they were a stick of dynamite. Sastastic thinks that Dmitry didn’t really have the footwork but Donyelle banged it out of the park. Frenchie was expecting a bit more and thinks they had some awkward footwork.

Benji picks Natalie as his new partner and they will be doing Jazz! The pressure is getting to Natalie a bit. In performance the dance is joyous and buoyant. They both have exquisite technique and chemistry. Really cool casual earthy costumes and inspired grounded dancing. Natalie finally is just dancing rather than shaking it or trying to get into Muse’s pants. Nigel is pleased with their chemistry since they had both had such good chemistry with their old partners. Sastastic thinks they felt the music and really brought it. Frenchie didn’t want it to stop.

Heidi does her little shake the hips ballroom solo. She looks great in a little gold dress, adds some jazz hands and turns but these ballroom people are really at a disadvantage with the whole solo thing. She is fun and sweet though, it’s hard to say anything bad about her. Nigel says she is no cabbage patch doll (referring kind of an in appropriate comment last week). Sastastic loves her spunk.

Ivan and Martha will now tackle the waltz. Oy. I can’t see Martha doing a waltz epically when she calls herself Diesel. Not the best way to start this out honey. Ivan looks good and it’s pretty soft and sweet but they really do look mismatched. Nigel doesn’t see much lift in their waltz. Sastastic didn’t really like it. Frenchie says they never really got the frame of the dance. He states the obvious that both of them are in danger of leaving this week.

Travis does the best solo I’ve seen so far. He does about 30 turns in a row, has amazing extension and is a born performer. He really looks like he is having fun and Nigel agrees. Sastastic says he really is showing that he wants to fight for his life. He is amazing.

Ryan and Allison’s last dance is Broadway. It’s really cute and they have awesome red outfits. They are doing the Liza Minelli classic “Bye Bye Blackbird.”At one point Allison’s hat falls off but she cutely picks it back up and goes on with the dance. Ryan still looks a little stoned, which is sad because he really is a good dancer. Nigel thinks Allison is a true professional. Sastastic thinks Ryan really doesn’t bring much to the table. Frenchie doesn’t think that they performed to the back of the house.

Natalie is really pulling out all the stops and starts her solo literally sobbing. She has great technique. It is beautiful and really good to see her finally dancing. Nigel says it was sensational. Sastastic really was feeling her emotion. Frenchie says she has electric passion in her dancing.

Benji is the ultimate showman. Gay Gay Gay but Fabulous Fabulous Fabulous!!!! His solo is insane. Starting off with a split he just keeps turning and shaking and I have no idea what this style is, but I love it. I can’t believe this is a boy that just got back from a Mormon mission. Nigel loves that a partner dancer can do such a dynamic solo. Sastastic wants to smack his booty and Frenchie says he really owned it.

Donyelle and Dmitry follow this up with a Samba. Super hot Artem from last season helps them out and Crazy Mary is getting a bit frustrated at the Russian boys conversing in their native tongues. The dance is amazing. Dmitry is really in his element and Donyelle really puts a lot of passion into it. I give props to whoever dresses Donyelle because she always looks amazing. Nigel says Donyelle is brilliant to watch. Frenchie thinks that Donyelle really transformed herself into a ballroom dancer and that Dmitry is a great partner. Sastastic thinks that Dmitry has finally found his woman.

Heidi and Travis are paired up with Mia Michaels to do Contemporary. Heidi in rehearsal is having some problems getting Mia’s style. She starts to cry and it’s not so fun to watch. In performance, however, Heidi slows herself down and lets Travis really shine. She really is the supporting player in this dance but still does a great job. Travis really keys into the style and the dance is unique and moving. Essentially they are working with a park bench, which is a cool idea. Mia is a little creepy but a great choreographer. Nigel things that Heidi stepped it up and Travis really got her through this dance. Sastastic said they made them fall in love. Frenchie was impressed with their space, roundness and story.

Allison does her solo and its fun. Not amazing but fun. It really doesn’t matter what she does because she is really on her way to winning this competition. She is loved across the board, always.

Natalie and Benji do a Shane Sparks Hip Hop duet with lots o’ booty poppin. It’s cute and fun but really two white kids trying to get down. Its high energy and I’m totally amused. The judges however aren’t so much. Nigel thinks they didn’t get into the style and weren’t together. Sastastic thinks they didn’t gel as a couple in this. Frenchie loved it!

Ryan has the final solo of the night. He is such an amazing dancer but something with him is just kind of weird. Nigel says that he has an amazing career ahead of him. Sastastic thinks that that solo is going to keep him from elimination. He’s just not a star.

Dance for Your Life (Or now…What America Has Decided)

I’m getting a little sick of how this show wastes time. I enjoyed the opening number; it was a strange gothic dance that reminded me of a Backstreet Boys video. So now we will see who America has voted off. But it will take us an hour. Whatever will they fill the time with?

First off we bring the girls up.
Donyelle- Safe!
Martha- Bottom 2 (not a shocker…)
Allison- Safe!
Natalie- Bottom 2
Heidi- Safe!

Martha and Natalie are in the hot seat!

Then our boys.
Ryan- Bottom 2 (like that wasn’t predictable)
Travis- Safe!
Benji- Safe!
Dmitry- Bottom 2 (oh no, don’t leave….)
Ivan- Safe

Ryan and Dmitry are in the hot seat!

Now, the dancers in the hot seat will dance one last time…well, unless they don’t get kicked off. This is a kind of useless part of the show. They do the same solos as last week.

Who will be leaving us…drum roll please!!!

Martha and Dmitry

The show ends with a confused Dmitry doing his last dance ever on the stage. When he rips off his shirt madness ensues. I’ll miss him, but Chippendales is ready and waiting.

Previous Recaps:
Hot Pants and Crazy Mary
Crazy-Eyed Ben & a Little Sass
The Career Is Mine?
By Kimmie Smith

Remember a few weeks ago when I talked about the re-appearance of Brandy? Her “Boy is Mine” collaborator Monica has been filming a video with Jermaine Dupree and it seems like she is ready for a return to the spotlight.

At the time “The Boy is Mine” was released, it was a culmination of two of R&B's hottest young artists. It was almost as if they agreed that they were both mega stars and that they could stand sharing star power for a few minutes. Both hadsuccess in the video and in their careers individually. Interestingly enough, both seemed to follow the other with songs, appearances.
Fast forward to the here and now. Brandy is on the circuit with the View,America's Top Talent and who knows what else.

Will this be a battle of the child song birds that are all grown up? One thing can be for said, Monica looks great with the all white ensemble and double kudos for the tunic top with not so over the top embellishments.
It Was the Nightmare of My Life
By Leila Cohan

Wednesday: no longer hump day, it is now my favorite day of the week. Two important things about the Project Runway opening credits: first, while every other designer is hamming it up for the cameras, Bradley Baumkirchner, who I love beyond measure, sense, or reason, looks slightly embarrassed by it all. Second, Crazy Vincent Libretti.

Heidi should just be pregnant all the time. Oh wait. She already kind of is. Heidi brings out Miss USA, Tara Connor, whom she calls “an icon of American beauty.” Tara is very pretty, but I’m not sure that Miss USA qualifies as an icon. Isn’t she just the trashy version of Miss America?

The designers are going to create evening gowns and Tara will wear the winning design at Miss Universe. Wow! That is a pretty awesome prize. Everyone, but most especially Kayne, is very excited.

The designers meet with Tim and Tara in the workroom. Tara needs a dress that will make her look taller, in an earth tone, monochromatic, and not too busty. The designers will be working in teams of two. They will have thirty minutes to sketch and then they will pitch their ideas to Tara, who will choose seven team leaders.

Angela interviews that she’s never made a gown before, so she wants to get paired with someone who is great at construction. This brings up one of the episode’s recurring leitmotifs: Angela is annoying and needy.


The designers sketch, sketch, sketch. Angela totally harasses Kayne while he’s working and tries to get him to promise to pick her for his team. Kayne is not having it.

The designers pitch to Tara. Keith Michael totally gropes her. Kayne is SO EXCITED.

Angela “doesn’t sketch,” so she asks Tara a bunch of questions. I can’t tell if this is actually how Angela goes about designing for a client or if she’s self-sabotaging because she doesn’t want to be a team leader, but either way, it’s completely unprofessional. Tara does not look pleased.

Tara chooses Keith Michael, Uli, Crazy Vincent, Laura, Malan, Jeffrey, and Kayne. I have to say, I love how prior performance plays no role in team leader selection. Two of the team leaders were in the top three last week, two were in the bottom three, and three were in the middle. It’s a good spectrum. Tara leaves and it’s time to choose partners. Tim reminds the team leaders that how they work with their teammates will be considered at judging. Laura chooses Michael, Kayne chooses Robert (but interviews show that he would have chosen Angela if she hadn’t been such a pain in the ass during sketching time), Jeffrey chooses Alison, Malan chooses Katherine, Uli chooses Bonnie, Keith chooses Bradley, which leaves only one designer for Crazy Vincent. “I’d be happy to work with Alison,” he says. Whoops!

The designers have two days and $300 for this challenge. They go to Mood. Malan buys a lot of brown. Kayne gets some purple organza, even though Tara said she wanted earth tones. Meanwhile, on Team Crazy, Angela keeps telling Vincent how much time is left for shopping and Vincent cannot handle this discussion. Like, at all. To summarize: Vincent is crazy and Angela is a bitch.

The designers start working. Robert and Kayne love each other. Bradley looks a little nervous about Keith’s design, but Stealth Bitch Keith interviews “I would think that he would know after the last challenge that I’m, like, good, so why are you worried? Laura and Michael are getting along fine, as are Bonnie and Uli.

And then there’s Team Crazy. Vincent won’t let Angela do anything. Angela is sulky.

Malan and Katherine are getting along fine….for now. Malan interviews a very sad story about how, when he was thirteen, he made a bunch of sketches and gave them to his mom, who threw them on the floor. I still don’t like Malan, but that’s quite sad.

Everyone is collaborating, except for Vincent and Angela. Angela expresses some concerns about the basic design of the dress. While I understand Angela’s frustration, she can’t really question the team leader as much as she’s doing. Wait, am I taking Crazy Vincent’s side? Crazy!

Day two: Tim comes in to check on everyone. Uli and Bonnie need perfect finishing, the ruching on Kayne and Robert’s gown concerns him, and he is deeply troubled by the garment of Team Crazy, as well as Malan and Katherine’s dress. Malan and Katherine’s dress is an interesting number. It looked gorge in the sketches and it started out pretty, but now it just looks like it would make anyone look fat. Kind of like Malan’s ill-fitting shirt.

The shit is hitting the fan with Malan and Katherine. Malan will not listen to Katherine’s contention that no woman will want to wear a dress that’s so heavy. In a moment of complete fiveshadowing, Katherine tells Malan that “if and when this gets called out on the runway, you get to defend it.” Katherine: has a point, or stealth bitch?

Um, is it wrong that I find Jeffrey a little hot?

It’s Runway Day! The models arrive. Hectic action ensues. Malan and Katherine seem to be cutting the hem on the model and it looks like they screw it up, because it’s about a foot and a half too short. I’m sorry, but that’s their own fault. They should have dealt with the hem yesterday.

Crazy Vincent and Angela have a crazy argument about what time everyone has to go down to the runway. There is yelling and craziness, as you might imagine.

Runway time! Michael Kors is absent, so in his place we have Vera Wang. Everything I’ve ever heard about Vera Wang is that she’s sort of a C-U Next Tuesday, if you get what I’m saying and I think you do. That’s just the rumor, y’all. Also, she’s wearing something k-razy.

We begin the runway show. Jeffrey and Alison’s is first. I like it, in theory, but it’s completely inappropriate for the client. Can you imagine someone wearing this to Miss Universe?

Next we have Keith and Bradley’s design. It’s really beautiful, if, perhaps, a little understated for the purpose at hand.

Team Crazy’s dress comes down the runway next. Without the epaulets, the dress would be dull, but serviceable, but with the epaulets, it’s just plain ugly. Also, the bust doesn’t fit the model.

Kayne and Robert’s garment comes down next and oh Lordy, it is stunning. It manages to stand alone as a gorgeous dress and to be completely perfect for the client and occasion. You can completely imagine Tara looking incredible in it and the model sells the hell out of it.

Next up is Malan and Katherine’s and….I understand the idea they were going for, but the end result is that the model looks like a fat turd.

Uli and Bonnie’s design walks next. It’s pretty, but once again, I think it’s a little too deconstructed for the pageant world.

Finally, we have Laura and Michael’s gown. It’s pretty, but you could buy it on the prom rack at Sears.

Jeffrey and Alison, Laura and Michael, and Keith and Bradley are safe, leaving (presumably) Kayne and Robert and Uli and Bonnie as the best, and Malan and Katherine, and Vincent and Angela as the worst. I’d swap Uli and Bonnie for Keith and Bradley, but otherwise, I’m in agreement with the judges.

The judges think Uli and Bonnie’s design is modern and pretty and are very impressed that Kayne took the initiative to change Tara’s mind about the color.

No one is very impressed with Malan and Katherine’s, particularly not with the hem and the fact that the bust has been built up when Tara specifically said she wanted to downplay that area. Heidi asks each of the team members who they think should go home. Both Katherine and Malan pick Malan. Aaand, right there is where Malan falls into the Vanessa Riley Memorial Trap of Self-Elimination. As you might imagine, the discussion of Team Crazy’s dress doesn’t go very well. The judges actually kind of like the dress and do not like Angela’s attitude. Ho-ho! Drama! Drama! Vincent says Angela should go because creating the dress was “the nightmare of my life”. Hee. I love Crazy Vincent.

The judges deliberate. Vera Wang hates the shit out of Angela. Everyone is mad about the poor construction and general ugliness of Malan and Katherine’s dress.

The designers return to the runway. Robert is safe. Bonnie is safe. Kayne is the winner. Yay! I like that even if he doesn’t go much farther in the competition (which seems kind of unlikely, but still), his business will be furthered so much by him winning this challenge. Uli is safe. Katherine is safe. Vincent is safe. Angela is in, so Malan is out. I’m actually a little surprised. I didn’t like Malan, but I really thought he’d go further than this. Furthermore, how awkward are things going to be with Angela and Vincent now? Auf Wiedersehn, Malan! Goodbye, Jonathan Pryce/Mr. Bean!

Next week: designing an outfit inspired by “one of fashion’s hottest accessories”. Laura and Keith have a bitch fight and Bradley might get eliminated on his birthday. Oh no! Not Bradley!

Previous Recaps:
Episode 1: Malan, Febreze, Crazy Vincent
Casting Special: Designers, Rock the Casbah