Hot Child in the City - PopCultureWhoreNYC@gmail.com

Monday, July 10, 2006

Brandy, Take Two
By Kimmie Smith























It appears that Brandy is attempting her comeback. A few years ago, it seemed the “Moesha” star wanted to take the “I’m real” track and show us that she encounters the same life issues as the rest of us. She entered reality TV with a how on MTV that focused on the birth of her first child and how she was preparing to be a wife and mother. After the show, the validity of her marriage was called into question and her image did not seem to be irreparably tarnished, but she slipped from the spotlight somewhat.

I was, therefore, shocked to flip the channel and see her on “America’s Got Talent.” At first I thought it was a random appearnance. But days later, my boyfriend and I woke up to her on “The View.” Whether she gets to be a co-host and to fill the spot of Star is neither here nor there. I must say that she held her own! My boyfriend and I went to the taping with LL Cool J this spring and those women do not hold back! If only you could hear what they say when they are not on air; get tickets if you can.

Brandy looks amazing and has such a fresh look but I definitely think that there are moments that she should try different styles. On “The View,” I was less than impressed with her outfits. They were cute, but because she is a lot more mature, I think a slightly sophisticated sexy look would be way more appealing. With star quality, a great smile, being a mom, surviving childhood stardom and a voice to boot, she needs to embrace her entire persona and allow us to get to know Brandy 2006.

Recently, Brandy attended the Midsummer Night's Glam Jam in California (above). I definitely love this pseudo conservative boho-chic vibe! Her hair is fabulous the large earrings aren't too overwhelming. The top catches the eye with its paisley patterns - kudos to the stylist for minimizing the bag size and the jewelry. Great choice in the jeans as well. Hopefully as Brandy continues to emerge back into the spotlight she will feel more comfortable playing with her style and maintaining that playful look while bringing out the sophistication!

Check Out:
Brandy's Star Turn: The Sequel (TMZ)
No More Tattoos for Brandy (TeenHollywood.com)
Norwoods Taking on Reading, Writing, Reality (EURWeb.com)
Brandy Back with Basketball Star (PR Inside)

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Footballers Wives: Sharp As A Tack
By SoapOperaWhore



















Lucy attempts to discuss what is going on at Cocoon with Bruno, but all he can do is stomp around like a caveman. He blames everyone but himself when something goes wrong. He's a real prize. Bruno is under the impression that all of their problems stem from Lucy. How about a little less finger pointing and a little more problem solving? Bruno didn't seem to know about the illegal immigrants any more then Lucy did.

Hazel arrives to tell Bruno and Lucy that the club is going to have to close down during the investigation. Bruno is barely able to hold his temper back. Hazel is probably the smartest person on this show. She is wise to the abuse that Bruno is inflicting upon Lucy. She makes it very well known to both Bruno and Lucy that Lucy can turn to Hazel anytime Bruno "loses his temper."

















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Bruno knows better than to pull anything in front of Hazel. He is the definition of irrational. Lucy simply says that if they have to sell their huge mansion for cash while Cocoon gets back on its feet that money isn't the most important thing in the world. Being the psycho that he is Bruno flies off the handle making it very clear to Lucy that the only thing that he cares about is status and money. He throws her against the wall and punches in a picture frame letting her know that next time it's going to be her face. You may be scratching your head wondering what it is that Lucy did to deserve such a reaction? She showed love and support to her husband making it known that money wasn't the reason that she loved him. The proper response is not to hurl your wife against a wall. DIVORCE HIM!!!!!!!!!!! Lucy is beautiful, smart, and strong. She doesn't need to put up with this.

Last week I said that Roger pretends to have emotions. That was incorrect. He just doesn't know how to use them in a way that isn't going to make someone feel horrible. Yes, Seb did use steroids, but only because Roger was riding him so hard. Pushing the boy to the point of collapse isn't solving the problem; it's only creating a larger one. Roger can't seem to grasp that concept. Jackie doesn't approve of the way Roger is treating Seb and lets him know this. Roger throws the mess that Kyle has made of his life in her face as a testament to her parenting skills. Jackie does the only reasonable thing and throws Seb's breakfast shake in Roger's face.



















Conrad's naked ass let's us know that Amber and Conrad had sex after the congratulatory dinner he threw her, but he still doesn't understand why she won't officially take him back. You were ready to marry Tanya like a week ago. Give a girl a chance to catch her breath. Amber makes it clear that she wants Conrad in her life, but she isn't going to play second fiddle to him, Earls Park, or anything else. Amber actually wants to be independent and get back some of the fire that we saw in her when the character was first introduced. As of late she has become a door mat so it's nice to see Amber have some spirit again.

Hazel is baffled why Roger's lineup doesn't include Seb. If they want to win it doesn't make any sense for their best new player to sit on the bench. Roger blathers on about how he isn't ready, but we all know that Roger is just being spiteful. Is Roger the parent or the child? Later, Conrad goes speaks to Roger on Seb's behalf. Roger tells him to mind his own business, and later refers to Seb as a junkie. I'm not saying that Seb should be taking steroids, but the boy is not a junkie. Roger is blowing this whole thing wildly out of proportion! Jackie tries to reach out to Seb. She explains that Roger does love him. Seb doesn't believe it. I wouldn't either. Roger hasn't been any kind of presence in his life, and now is treating him like a criminal. This does not foster warm and loving feelings.

Reaching her breaking point with Bruno, Lucy begins reaching turning to her friends. Amber is too busy running around promoting her ridiculous single in some delusional state thinking it has some grand message to offer the masses. Shannon is occupied with her documentary on a bus full of old people as a part of an "adopt a granny" program. At the moment Lucy is fragile and needs someone to reach out. She goes to a box that she has hidden with an abuse hotline pamphlet. She calls, hangs up, and then smashes a vase on the ground. I'm not saying what Bruno does to Lucy is her fault, but he is completely unhinged. Breaking things isn't going to help her situation as she determines her next move. The people on this show only know how to make things worse.



















Shannon definitely wants to be in the public eye, but she also genuinely wants to help people. The whole "Adopt A Granny" thing is to make her look good in her documentary, but at the same time she actually is trying to do a good thing when she brings the bus full of seniors to her pool for a day of fun. Harley comes home and gets pissed at Shannon. I have no idea why. He doesn't want Shannon to have people over to use the pool. Harley needs to take it down a notch. His reaction doesn't make any sense. Yet another reason that I say his contempt for his wife is growing by the day. By the time the seniors leave Harley has managed to get his unprovoked rage in check until he learns that Shannon has actually gone ahead and adopted a granny for a week, Mrs. Birkeham. God love Shannon she has a big heart, but her eyes are bigger then her stomach. She bites off more then she can chew then has no idea how to handle the situation. I don't see this ending well.

Bruno freaks out about Lucy "accidentally" breaking the vase. He actually says the words, "Do I need to lock you in a room when I'm not in the house?" No, but someone needs to lock you up in a cage Bruno Milligan. In Bruno's absence Lucy has gained some composure and threatens to walk out on him. Those may be the smartest words she has ever said during her time on the show. Bruno shows her the door, but lets her know she will be leaving alone. Lucy is a fantastic mother. She wouldn't leave Angelica with Bruno. Lucy needs to take that child and go to Hazel's. If anyone can protect them it is her. Bruno is pure evil, and deserves to be alone and penniless rotting in a gutter. I hate him.

Later that evening, Lucy goes into a chat room to find support. If she only knew that people in chat rooms generally want one thing and it's not to offer support. It's too risky to be chatting away about how miserable you are in your marriage with Bruno only steps away. Then she leaves the brochure for the chat room in her computer when she closes it. For a smart girl she is making colossal mistakes. I can't imagine Bruno would take too kindly to finding that.

Amber arrives home from gallivanting around town gushing over herself and her new single to find Conrad waiting for her. She is pleasantly surprised, hugs him, and he passes out. Amber notices blood seeping from his back onto his white shirt. Conrad thought that it would be a spectacular idea to get a tattoo of a phoenix with the names Amber and Phoenix written out covering his entire back. Does he even have a brain? Amber acknowledges the stupidity of Conrad's actions but finds it touching and takes him back. I know I've said I think that Harley and Shannon take turns with the one brain that they share, but I think that there might only be one brain for this entire cast of characters.

Hazel has decided that protecting Lucy is her personal mission and invites her to lunch. Hazel tells Lucy that she knows exactly what is going on. Being the dutiful abused wife, Lucy defends Bruno, but shows some cracks when she admits that Bruno does have a temper. Lucy feels the need to prove to Hazel that she has a fantastic home life. She decides to have an impromptu dinner party for the girls that very evening. Hazel doesn't believe a word that is coming out of Lucy's mouth. I'm not sure why Lucy thinks that this is a good idea. I don't think that she should live in fear of or even with Bruno, but at the moment she is. She needs to bide her time and placate him into thinking that she is obeying him so she can orchestrate her escape properly. Instead she has dinner parties.

Meanwhile, Bruno decides to have a boy's night in. Roger, of course, won't allow Seb to go. Jackie pushes the issue and gets Roger to agree to it as long as Seb doesn't drink. When Bruno and Lucy learn of each other's conflicting plans, Bruno wants her to rescind the invitations to the girls. I'm not sure why since their house is big enough for the eight people that are going to be there. His tune quickly changes when he finds out Hazel is coming. At least there is someone that Bruno is afraid of. He knows that Hazel is very aware of the state of the Milligan marriage, and he hates that. Cry me a river Bruno. Lucy assures Bruno that she let Hazel know that they have the picture perfect marriage, but slips in an ever so subtle threat that if the marriage were to veer in the not so picture perfect land then Lucy may need to turn to her for some help. Hazel needs to put out a hit on Bruno. Hell she should shoot him herself. Strong Lucy comes back for a brief moment, and I LOVE strong Lucy.

Harley continues to be a bastard to Shannon. Not a Bruno level bastard, but definitely an at the end of my rope bastard. Shannon wanted to make Mrs. Birkeham porridge before they left to go to Bruno and Lucy's, but Harley practically tosses Shannon out the door because they are late. Who cares if you are late? Bruno doesn't like the two of you anyway. Shannon was being so sweet wanting to take care of their "adopt a granny." When Shannon and Harley do get to Bruno's, Shannon apologizes to him about all the trouble her documentary is causing him. Bruno understands. You did not read that incorrectly. Bruno is understanding, tells Shannon not to worry about it, and leads them into the dining room. Not another word about it comes out of his mouth the entire episode. I was as shocked as you are right now.

At dinner the tension between Bruno and Lucy is palpable. He can't go a minute without glaring at her. Fear flashes through her eyes whenever she catches his. Once dinner is over, the girls and the boys separate. Seb tries to have a drink, but Bruno won't break Roger's rules. His words say one thing, but his actions another: he practically pours the alcohol into Seb's glass. The only rules that Bruno follows are his own.

The girls (and when I say girls I mean Amber) go to an Internet stripper site after Lucy inquires if any of them have done Internet chatting. Are you serious? Is this what Amber does in her free time? The girls are having a fantastic time and can't stop laughing. Laughter and happiness seem to be like kryptonite to Bruno. As soon as he hears the girls having a good time he makes a beeline for the dining room door. Lucy had locked it so that Bruno wouldn't walk in on them. He pounds on the door as Lucy moves faster then the speed of light to open it. Before the dinner party Lucy was threatening Bruno that she would go to Hazel, but now that she is in a room full of people that would protect her she is as scared as she has ever been. The whole time Amber is literally cackling at the stripper, and calls Conrad over to look at it. Of course these two would enjoy that.

After the dinner, Bruno goes on a rant about how worthless Lucy is, which sends her fleeing to her chat room friend. She agrees to meet him. Really? An affair? This seems foolish. You're going to want a divorce. Bruno will be able to use this against you when it comes to custody of Angelica. I know that Lucy needs support right now, but this is a dumb move. Leave Bruno and then start dating. Lean on Amber and Hazel and Shannon in the meantime.

Seb drives home drunk. Stupid. Jackie is awake when he gets in, and attempts to wisk him to his room while Roger is in the shower. Stupid. Seb then thanks Jackie for being so nice, and kisses her. Stupid. Jackie responds at first. Stupid. Finally she has the good sense to push him away and head upstairs. You know that Jackie was into it. She has had a thing for younger men ever since she was fooling around with Jason Turner back in the first season. She was definitely trashier then. I guess we are harkening back to the Jackie of yesteryear.

Previous Recaps:
I Ain't Saying She A Golddigger

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'Til Boredom Do Us Part
By TellyWhore


















Here we are again, with our favorite socialite used-to-be-like-a-week-ago best friends. This week they were turned into dueling lesbian wedding planners. Paris and Nicole are given the challenge to plan a beautiful wedding for two middle-aged lesbians who have decided to commit to each other in front of family and friends. “What is the catch?” you ask. They have one day to plan the wedding and the lesbians get to decide whose wedding is the best.

















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It was three minutes of entertaining television fraught with last minute decisions about wedding dresses, cakes shaped like breast, and white horses. The highlights: Paris put on a fashion show for two lesbians and she loved every minute of it; Nicole became an ordained minister and presided over the nuptials for the lesbians. You can assume the remaining twenty seven minutes contained the requisite quips from Paris, and the shocking shocks blurted by Nicole. “Television really does not get any better than this,” I found myself repeating aloud as I stifled my third yawn.



















Before I continue, please allow me a moment to address Ms. Paris Hilton directly. Paris, Sweetie, Honey, Darling…we get it. We know you don’t like Nicole. We know. We know you think you are better than her…more refined than Nicole, nicer than Nicole, and maybe you are. At least that’s the way the show is edited. Paris, we know you think you are as sweet as an oatmeal crème pie. We know this. We know you’ve been famous for two weeks longer than Nicole. We know. Is it that Nicole now weighs less than you? Is it that Nicole has more pets than you? What is it that makes you belittle Nicole’s character every week? Don’t you know that Nicole needs no assistance from you? She is tirelessly proving that she can do badly by her self. Frankly Paris, I’m becoming bored with the snide remarks. You win. Is that what you want to hear? Would that satisfy you? I just want to take this time to let you know that we, the viewers, get it. You are THE fabulous Paris Hilton. There have been none before you and there will be none after you because you, indeed, are everything. You can stop trying so hard, okay? I love you bitch.


















Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I still need a little help wrapping my mind around the complete disdain they have for each other. Really, am I the only one who is beginning to find the show a bit pointless? I mean, who wants to watch a show where adversaries compete for absolutely nothing? For example, on Survivor, the competitors back-stab and fight for a million dollars. Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie wipe their respective asses with that much money every day, so they can not possibly be competing for dollar bills. On MTV’s The Real World, the housemates “compete” for air time, but both girls get plenty of media attention with or without TSL, so they can’t be competing for that either. On American Idol, the contestants race for fame, but Paris and Nicole are each “celebutants.” What is the point of this entire season? Are we as viewers really supposed to determine who the better mother is going to be or who the better wife is going to be or who the better lesbian wedding planner is going to be? I guess I don’t get it afterall.



















However before I end, I must share the new thought that conjured in my subconscious as I watched this week’s episode in pure boredom. As you all know, I am intent on discovering the core of this mountain that has grown between my favorite gal pals. And I started wondering…could it be that my favorite gal pals were a little more than gal pals at some point? Perhaps on one drunken night coming home from some VIP party they stumbled into each other’s arms and a “girls gone wild” moment was born. I mean think about it...these girls were EVERYWHERE together. If you watch the first few seasons of TSL, notice how close they are. Notice how they cling to each other and hold each other. Hmmmm….that would explain a lot for me. Could this squabble be more than just a bitch-fest? Could the cause of the nastiness between them be fueled by love’s heart break?

Or maybe they are both just first class bitches.

By the way, Paris won the lesbian wedding planning competition…in case you didn’t guess.



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Chappelle: Better When Lost
By Patrick Griffith




















When I got wind that Comedy Central was going to air "Chappelle's Show: The Lost Episodes" I almost wet myself in anticipation. Then came the big moment and.....bam! Nothing funny! It was like I got blue balls from a TV show. People, don't let Dave Chappelle lie to you and say that he jumped ship on his show because he just couldn’t take the pressure of being a star. It’s more likely because the third season of his show was about as entertaining of the last season of "The Golden Girls" and as annoying as a Gilbert Gottfried comedy special. The only thing that prevented me from changing the channel was a hilarious skit towards the end making fun of Tupac’s posthumous releases. But I had to suffer through 23 minutes of pure, unadulterated fecal matter in order to get the goods. I was cheated! Damn you, Chappelle, you ruined your career and destroyed one of the funniest shows on TV. And your movie "Block Party?" Also not funny. Take my advice, dude: Stay in Africa.

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Whore Links
























Lohan Hawks Proactiv (TMZ)

Virginia Governor Pardons Witch (AP)

Wildwood, NJ: Confederate Haven? (FourFour)

Janosz from Ghostbusters II Joins '24' (Hollywood Reporter)

Daughtry Inks Record Deal (People)

'Pirates' Record Opening Weekend (AP)

Peace Out June Allyson (Bloomberg)

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My Favorite Whore ... Tim Gunn
By PopCultureWhore




















Project Runway returns for its latest season on Wednesday with PR den father and Parsons School of Design Fashion Department Chair Tim Gunn in tow. He’s the prim, Banana Republic loving fashionista whose work room diplomacy makes Heidi’s “You’re out” look like one of Meryl Streep’s tirades in “The Devil Wears Prada.”

He gave the Chicago Tribune a few gossipy items about past contestants and the upcoming season. Last year’s runner up, Daniel Vosovic, has become quite the diva, according to Gunn. “He’s been offered several jobs. He’s turned down everything. They’re not good enough for him,” he says. One of those jobs was reportedly working for designer and PR judge Michael Kors. Daniel has his own blog on the Bravo Web site.

Despite Daniel’s diva behavior, Gunn was flabbergasted when he lost out to Chloe Dao last season. “I was in a complete and total state of shock.” Perhaps he’s right. Chloe's a bit boring HERE.

Meanwhile, Banana Republic will not be returning as a main sponsor this season. Gunn had no explanation other than an executive’s glib “We thought we’d give someone else a shot.” Turns out the clothing maker outfitted Gunn in their togs for the first season, but then demanded that he return all of the clothing after taping concluded. “Including the socks. What are they going to do with the socks?” The store was not pleased, however, when Gunn revealed that this had occurred.

Catch the hilarious impression former contestant Santino Rice does of Gunn HERE. “Designers, rock the casbah.” Gunn was amused by the portrayal. “There would be times when I would be watching Season 2 shows and I would hear my voice off screen and I would think, is that me or Santino?” he says.

So what about the newbies? Bravo released the contestants name, which includes a guy named Michael Knight? Some apparently have MySpace profiles, though who knows if they’re authentic. Click the names the live the dream:

Bradley Baumkirchner, 32, Los Angeles, CA
Robert Best, 36, West Hollywood, CA
Laura Bennett, 42, New York, NY
Malan Breton, 32, Long Island City, NY
Bonnie Dominguez, 31, San Diego, CA
Stacey Estrella, 40, San Francisco, CA
Katherine Gerdes, 25, Minneapolis, MN
Kayne Gillaspie, 27, Norman, OK
Ulrike "Uli" Herzner, 35, Miami Beach, FL
Alison Kelly, 25, Brooklyn, NY
Angela Keslar, 33, Amesville, OH
Michael Knight, 28, Atlanta, GA
Vincent Libretti, 49, Santa Monica, CA
Keith Michael, 34, New York, NY
Jeffrey Sebelia, 36, Los Angeles, CA


In other PR news:

-- There will be a Canadian version of the show. Let’s hope it’s not as horrifically boring as “Canada’s Next Top Model"
-- Host Heidi Klum is less chatty than Gunn.
-- Gunn initially thought the idea for PR was “horrible and cheesy"
-- Santino dishes to TV Guide in advance of the Season 2 DVD release.
-- Santino and a handful of other contestants attended L.A.'s Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising. Who else now attends the same school? LC and Heidi from The Hills.
-- Andrae Gonzalo, who sobbed on the runway while describing one of his first designs has put aside plans for his own label to pen a book on "taking the fascism out of fashion."

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K-Fed's Son or Daughter?
By PopCultureWhore























Ok, so is this daughter Kori or son Kaleb? It's probably Kaleb, but it actually looks like the girl who played Ruthie on Seventh Heaven back in the day. I’m sorry, but the kids he has with Shar Jackson just look drunk at all times. Maybe it’s the fact that Mommy has like 10 kids with eight different men or that Quentin Tarantino was hanging around the house at one point (“Kori, read this Bible passage and then shoot Malibu Barbie in the face for me. It’ll be awesome, I promise.”), but they are just some drugged out, ugly children! Not to worry, Sean P. is well on his way to embodying that look as well, but I’m at least charmed by him a bit more.














Kori Federline, tiny angel













Ruthie, itching for wholesome fun

(Source)

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It's Alive!!
By PopCultureWhore






















Suri Cruise has made her appearance – on paper anyway. In between visits with Captain Xenu on Planet Zoltron, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise found time to formally obtain a birth certificate for their daughter, hatched in April. Blah Blah. Can we just talk about the fact that Katie’s middle name is Noelle? Hello 1987! I’m from New Jersey so I could rattle off about five Noelle’s that I have known and loved, but Miss Polly Prep Dawson’s Creek does not fit the slouch socks, gum smacking, banana clip vision that a Noelle should be. Britney Noelle Spears? Much better.

See it in its largescale PDF glory HERE.

(Source)

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Kingston Morphs Into Small Horse





















(Source)

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Kabbalists Still Do It Better
By PopCultureWhore


















Fear not, faithful followers, Madonna has not turned her back on Kabbalah. Despite news reports this weekend to the contrary, Madge’s people insist she is still a devoted Kabbalah head. “As far as I am aware, it is completely untrue,” the spokeswoman says. I’m sure Rocco and Lourdes are thrilled.

UPDATE: Rocco REALLY wasn't thrilled. Click on the video from TMZ to see him having a spaz attack when he and Lourdes jump into the car outside the Kabbalah Center on Friday in NYC. The most amusing part is the guy in the crowd yelling "JESUS! IT'S JESUS!!" as the kids walk to the SUV and when Madonna follows shortly thereafter.

(Source)

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Bela Karolyi Ruins Young Love
By PopCultureWhore



























I smell a Lifetime movie! Former Olympic gymnast Shannon Miller has secured a divorce from Boston eye surgeon Christopher Phillips. Miller, part of the 1996 squad of hormonally challenged midgets that also included Kerri Strug, filed for divorce in 2004, but fights between the two prolonged the proceedings. Phillips accused Miller of having an affair with a male athlete and threatening to publicly declare him a prescription drug addict if he spilled the beans. Miller denied it, calling the claims “lies and innuendo.” She told The Oklahoman newspaper that the worst thing she ever did to Philips was “put unleaded gas in his car and not premium. With gas prices these days, do you blame me?” Girlfriend seems a little pathological, or at least she will be in the made-for-TV movie that, in my mind, will somehow incorporate Patrick Duffy and Chris Kattan as Strug.

(Source)



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Angelina Earns Her Keep
By PopCultureWhore






















Angelina Jolie will stop saving refugees for a few weeks to voice a character named Tigress in the DreamWorks feature “Kung Fu Panda.” The panda in question, Po, will be played by Jack Black. He works in a noodle shop but needs Angelina’s help to “build up his strength.” I believe she provided the same service on “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” Black and Jolie first collaborated in Shark Tale, in which Jolie played against type as a big-lipped seductress fish. She will make her non-animated return to the big screen in December in Robert De Niro’s “The Good Shepherd,” also starring new dad Matt Damon.

(Source)

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Boring Concert Alert!
By PopCultureWhore





Nick Lachey is looking to milk the divorce sympathy a little further by kicking off a tour this September. According to his record label, the shows will be held at “smaller theatres, allowing intimate concerts with fans.” Translation: what’s left of me is not enough to fill an arena. Despite his whiny lyrics, however, Lachey has not locked himself in a closet with a box of Kleenex. People reports that he and MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo were spotted at NYC club Butter on July 4, where she celebrated our nation’s independence by giving the former 98 Degrees front man a lap dance. She’s patriotic like that. Lachey’s 26-city love fest will kick off on Sept. 20 in Albany, N.Y.

Nice timing, Nick. Today is ex-wife Jessica Simpson's 26th birthday.

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