Friday, July 07, 2006

And So It Begins ... BB: All Stars
By SoapOperaWhore

We waste very little time before the action begins on Big Brother: All Stars. Host Julie Chen brings out the houseguests one by one. All of them wave and smile, but Mike "Boogie" has to throw his hands up like he is the hottest thing to walk on two feet and make some stupid “you know you love me” expression. Looking at his pasty, bloated face in his white suit makes me angrier than a reality show contestant should. I still don't understand why the producers chose him as one of the top 20. Once all of the houseguests have filed in, separated by male and female on either side of Julie Chen, she makes the oh so shocking announcement that due to the overwhelming response from America the top 4 male vote getter and the top 4 female vote getters are going to be sent into the house. Every single person standing there thinks that they were chosen by America. You can see it in their eyes.


Julie starts with the top 4 female contestants, in no particular order (yeah right).

Janelle is first. Thank God. I had no doubt that Janelle would be voted in. I doubt that she did either. Erika is the next to receive a key. I was surprised, but not angered. I actually really like her. Erika is followed by Nakomis and Diane. Diane is the most baffling of the four to me. What exactly did America love about her???? They really liked her more than Danielle?

The girls rush into the house and manage to find the bedroom with a gigantic bed that fits four. They all think that it's a great idea to jump into that bed. Why? Do you really want to sleep in a bed with three other people? They should have stuck with the twin beds that they found. Diane doesn't think that Erika deserves to have been voted into the house because she didn't do anything during her season. Hmmm, let me introduce the pot to the kettle.

The first three men to be let into the house are Howie, Kaysar, and James. That's right, it's a Big Brother 6 redux. I'm all over it because I love me some BB6. Jase is the final America' choice contestant. Did people really like Jase that much? In the first of many threats against the Big Brother 6 crew, Erika laments that they need to get them out. Is it because they are the most recent season? Because they come in four strong? Or is it because they were known to be allies during their season? Probably all of the above.

Outside of the house the remaining contestants all look pissed off that America didn't vote them into the house, particularly Marcellas and Mike "Boogie". Julie puts on her hard hitting journalist hat to see which of the contestants are shocked that they didn't receive America's vote. Marcellas is dismayed because he is "America's black gay sweetheart." Marcellas is amusing, but I think that he may need to take the ego down just a bit.

Julie then announces the producer's choices: Will(of course!), Danielle (an All Stars edition wouldn't be complete without her), Marcellas(who proceeded to bear hug Julie Chen), Alison (not my favorite, but an understandable choice-we have to have some people to hate), Mike "Boogie"(DAMN THEM! I don't understand why they want him in the house), "Chicken" George (honestly, I think the only reason they chose him was to have someone from every season).

The strategizing immediately starts. Dr. Will and "Boogie" can talk of nothing but evicting Kaysar because he is so "arrogant." That's right, because the two of them are the pictures of humility. I can let Will's arrogance go, but "Boogie" has no business even being capable of that emotion. Kaysar seems to be gunning for Will just as hard as Will is gunning for Kaysar.

The requisite champagne toast and socializing happens. Julie explains to the audience what the head of household (HOH) does. She is going to be explaining this to us every week before the HOH competition, and the VETO competition, and eviction nights. I've heard her say these lines so many times every summer that I could say them word for word.

Julie joins the houseguests via the video screen to inform them that it is time to start the game, but there is a twist. There will be two heads of household. Shock and awe sweeps through the houseguests. If the two HOHs can't agree on which two houseguests to nominate, then they will be the nominated ones. More shock and awe sweeps through the houseguests.

They file outside to find the "Falling Stars" competition. The houseguests are divided into two groups, the first group stands on what look like stumps attached to a moving circle. The contestants in the second group hurl a fifty pound meteor at them trying to knock them off. The last one standing is the first HOH, and then the groups switch places.

Danielle and Marcellas have got some serious hate for each other. Danielle was gunning for him. They both know they got hate for each other, but I don't know if they are going to vocalize that, at least not yet. Kaysar took out "Boogie", who then tried to tell us that it was all a part of his plan to not win the HOH. YEAH RIGHT! If he had won that would have been a part of his plan. I already know which episode this season is going to be my favorite: Mike "Boogies’s" eviction.

Erika, James, Will, and Marcellas are all knocked down leaving Jase as the first head of household. The next group goes up. Nakomis is the first to be taken out. Will, of course, takes out Kaysar. James takes out Diane. He doesn't seem to care who he takes out as long as it isn't Janelle. Jase takes out Alison. Erika takes out George. Marcellas wanted to take out Danielle but he failed. Howie, however, did not. He knocked Danielle right off of that stump leaving Janelle as the second head of household.

Danielle, like everybody else in the house, is gunning for the season 6 houseguests. Janelle and Kaysar seem to be the biggest targets at this point. Danielle comes up with a plan to have Jase refuse to agree with Janelle, placing the two of them on the block and allowing the rest of the house to vote out Janelle. I hate this idea. If Jase is smart he will realize that it is too risky. Danielle tells Alison and George. Alison goes to Jase, but makes it clear that it was Danielle's plan. Jase decides to go and tell Janelle. When he walks into the HOH suite she is sitting there with Kaysar and James. I love having the three of them working together, but it doesn't look good for them. Jase divulges everything as a means to gain their trust. Apparently James trusts Jase more then Kaysar and Janelle. Is he stupid? Jase is the last person that he should trust, especially over Kaysar.

Nomination time rolls around. Jase and Janelle have agreed. Why wouldn't they? It's just foolish to put yourself up on the block, especially as the decoy. Decoys have a funny way of being voted out. All of the keys were pulled out and it came down to Dr.Will, Danielle, and Alison. The final key is pulled out to reveal Will's name. Really? Alison and Danielle are the nominees. I understand why they nominated Danielle. She was stirring the pot a little too soon, but I think that it would have been better for them to nominate Will. They need to get him out of there. We are then treated to a diary room clip of Alison trashing Janelle. Unacceptable. I'm hoping one of the BB6 is one of the HOHs next week or I have a feeling we will be seeing Kaysar and Janelle on the block.

The show closes with Dr.Will dipping into the well of stupidity. Will is angry that he wasn't nominated because he thinks that means they don't perceive him as a threat? Shouldn't that make you happy? He may be the only person who wants to be nominated. Don't you want to win again? I'm sure that Alison or Danielle would be happy to switch places with you.

The next new episode is on Tuesday when the fight for the Power of Veto begins ...
The Proof Is In the Head Nod
By PopCultureWhore

Justin Timberlake held a press conference in Paris on Friday to promote his upcoming album and its first single, SexyBack. He chose that particular song to mark his return to the pop charts after subtle approval from his club-hopping friends.

“When I finished the rough version, I just put it in my car” and let my friends listen to it, he says. “Every time SexyBack came on, it was just [insert grooving] … the proof is in the head nod.”

Whatever. If JT were taking me to LA clubs, I’d nod my head to the emergency broadcast signal if that’s what got the job done.

In the meantime, I’m going to go ahead and believe that everything he said was a subliminal message to Britney. When he tells the crowd that you need to mix things up on follow-up albums, he’s telling Britney that there wasn’t a goddamn difference between “You Drive Me Crazy” and “Toxic” so she’d better wipe the Cheetos dust off the microphone and get to work. Similarly, when he says that his favorite song off “Justified” was “Cry Me a River” and that he asked producer Timbaland to create him six more songs just like CMAR (the pelvic-thrust inducing, rumored “fuck you” to a cheating Britney), he’s telling Britney that he wouldn’t even inflict “PopoZao” on Guantanamo detainees.
Sharks On a Roller Coaster!
By PopCultureWhore

True pop culture whores will not be satisfied with just one Snakes on a Plane. Nay, we need more whorish options, the more outlandish, the better. Thus, it is with great pleasure that I present to you SOAP sequel options, coming soon to theater near you. First up, "Sharks on a Roller Coaster," the chilling prequel to "Lemur in a Roller Skate."

Children of the (Pop) Corn
By PopCultureWhore

Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen joined their male doppelgangers, Dylan and Cole Sprouse, at Planet Hollywood Thursday for the release of the boys' new "lifestyle" magazine, dubbed Sprouse Bros. Code. The Sprouse twins, best known as the stars of Nickelodeon’s “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody,” are being groomed by the Olsens to become the next big money makers at their company, Dualstar. The debut issue of the twins’ rag includes an interview with skateboarder Tony Hawk, an expose on shark feeding, a look at “tattoo freaks” and a regular feature called “What is Cole holding?” Check back in 10 years and I think Robert Downey Jr. might be able to tell you what he’s holding.

The New York Times did a profile on the tow-headed little sprites in April.

(Thanks Lisa!)

I Want This T-Shirt
By PopCultureWhore

Don't Hassel the Hoff?! That's his Madame Tussaud's wax figurine, right? The Hoff continues his death spiral into an Entertainment Tonight "Where are they Now?" weekend special with Bob Goen and I love it. You can buy "Don't Hassel the Hoff" t-shirts like this one on eBay. Get on that before they're all gone!

Electric 6 Made Me (Almost) Famous
By Patrick Griffith

Who doesn’t like to party? When I got wind that Detroit bred disco-punk band Electric Six (“Danger High Voltage” with Jack White above) was going to be filming a video at my old Detroit fraternity stomping grounds, Pi Kappa Alpha, I had to check it out. So last Saturday, I woke up early, which I never do, and headed over.

The production crew was the same group who approached us earlier in the year about filming a video for the late Detroit rapper and D-12 member Proof, but unfortunately the plans fell through and nothing ever happened.

I finally got the balls to walk into the house between shots, rounded up some of the guys and random girls, and brainstormed on how to approach the situation. We decided it would be fun to just sit around all day and get drunk while the whole thing was going on.

But I chatted up some of the band members and found out that the song in the video, “I Buy the Drugs” would be featured on an upcoming album. The director then asks us if we’d like to be in the shoot. Being the music whore that I am, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. The theme was a parody on fraternity and sorority life that stressed the stereotypes of drunken frat boys and raunchy sorority girls.

By the time they needed me to be in a scene, I was so tired from standing around in the sun and drinking crappy beer that I almost said forget it. But I’m a trooper and literally danced my ass off and made a fool of myself in front of the camera.

Come September, you can see my 30 seconds of dehydrated, drunken fame. I’ll keep everyone posted, and if you haven’t heard of Electric Six, by all means check them out. They’re the rage overseas and accompany their style of rock with some hilarious antics. Just don’t compare them to The Darkness, they might give you a beatdown.

Electric Six is currently on a U.S. tour and make a NYC appearance on Sept. 15 at the Bowery Ballroom. Pics from the shoot below.

Hot Pants and Crazy Mary
By Tiffany Westlie

Fox is really milking this two hour format for all it’s worth by starting this week's "So You Think You Can Dance" with a mini casting special. Crappy, amazing and weird – they all get their 15 minutes of fame.

Our judges for the evening: Nigel, Mary and Dan Karaty, the mastermind behind the "Hot Pants" workout video (above). Crazy Mary wants to hang up her ballroom shoes and “get her krump on!” God help us all.

Heidi and Ryan (aka Hakeem and She-Dan)
Master Shane will be teaching them Hip-Hop this week, a move that requires the pair to give themselves alter egos named Hakeem and She-Dan. Shane is gets his “Boom Kat” on Laurie Ann style and Heidi proves she’s got some freak in her and actually picks it up quite well. In performance she gets down and dirrrrrrty in her little white hot-pants. They actually do the robot in this one…Shane Sparks is a genius. Nigel calls it “frighteningly good.” Mary thinks our little milkmaid Heidi a “funky little white girl.” Stupid Dan calls it a cheerleading routine. Shut up! You did Best Buy commercials and “Malibu’s Most Wanted.”


Martha and Travis
They will be doing the salsa but have a lot of work cut out for them since Travis’ knowledge of the dance is limited to the spicy condiment variety. Therefore, salsa will have to mean “girl wears hot naked dress and shakes it.” Their partnering looks a little awkward and Miss Martha dwarfs little Travis at times, but it still looks pretty hot. Nigel loves the hot dress…I don’t really think he was paying much attention to the dancing. Mary thinks they struggled through the partnering sections and Travis needs to be a little more masculine. Awwww come on Mary, the faux hawk doesn’t do that for you? Dan was entertained. You know what? So was I.

Ashlee and Dmitry
New couple alert ladies and gentlemen! Brian Friedman is going to give us another story. This time Ashlee is a doll in a toy shop and Dmitry is a magician who is casting a spell on her to bring her to life. It’s a lot of running around and they are fully committed to the weirdness of it all. Ashlee is totally adorable in her little doll costume but I don’t see much “dancing” in the mess of all of this. Nigel thinks it was exceptionally entertaining. Mary is loving our hot little Russian boy. Me too, me too!! Dan is having a bad day and says they really didn’t play the characters. Oh whatever, I’m so over him.

Natalie and Musa
They are going to work it out doing some Disco. This is really difficult for them to learn, Musa keeps dropping poor Natalie. I thought he’d be used to holding her up in weird positions. Once they start dancing all eyes are on Musa’s booty shakin in some hot white pants. They are dancing to “Hot Stuff” which is quite appropriate because they are milking their sex appeal for all its worth. The lifts actually work out quite well due to Musa’s strength. They work it out and the crowd goes wild. If you got it, flaunt it…and they sure do. Nigel does think that Natalie is really saving Musa’s cute little butt…which I do tend to agree with even though he is a fox. Crazy Mary screams and takes another swig of her Jack and Coke. Dan states the obvious that if they were selling sex they would make a million dollars. They are hot, they won’t go home for a long time.

Donyelle and Benji
They pick the Viennese Waltz, ladies and gentlemen. Too bad poor Donyelle keeps calling it the Vietnamese waltz. That’s a whole different country, honey. Benji is having trouble with his “masculine side” so they tell him to channel Dmitry. Cut to beautiful shot of Dmitry with his shirt off. It goes off without a hitch and really is one of the more beautiful ballroom dances we’ve seen. Nigel thinks it was beautiful and bloody marvelous. Crazy Mary gives a scream and Dan thinks that they are really the entertainers of the competition.

Ivan and Allison
Picking West Coast Swing does seem a little daunting for them but after last week I have some faith in them. Ron is loving their energy and they really are one of the cutest couples. Allison is wearing some weird pants in their performance but Ivan is shockingly working it out. He is so lucky that Allison is his partner. Nigel thinks they made it work. Mary tells Allison that she thinks she will win the competition. Dan thinks they rolled with it and had a great performance. I’m starting to like Ivan…he’s no longer Chicken Little!

Jessica and Jaymz
They are going to hip hop so obviously they walk into their coaching session with Shane in camouflage. Can we have some creativity here people? Drill Sergeant Shane is working them out, but neither have much soul so this is a little difficult. I really could have seen this routine on Saved by the Bell. It’s kind of old school and fun, and they seem to really have a good time. Nigel thinks it was a paint-by-numbers routine. Mary is sweet and encouraging. Dan “wet blanket” Karaty thinks they faked it. Jaymz gets sassy with the judges which really might bite him in the butt next week.

Dance for Your Life!

A fun little group routine to Footloose opens Thursday’s elimination show. Mary is sobered up and lets us know that there are a few dancers with injuries. Ohhhh, the plot thickens.

The bottom three:
Jessica and Jaymz
Heidi and Ryan
Allison and Ivan

Jessica’s up first with a pointe solo. She loves those booty shorts. Jaymz does his best bullfighting routine, but it is horrible. Heidi shakes her booty to “Proud Mary;” she is a cheerleader and I love it. Ryan tries a soul ballet. He’s still kind of stoned but you can’t knock him because he is really an amazing ballet dancer. Allison is pure poetry. Ivan does his little popping thing. He’s really a showman and such a sweetie.

Allison- Safe! (Who else would be better in that Celine Dion show?)
Heidi- Safe!
Jessica- Buh Bye (I’m a little sad to see her go, she really tried with the pointe thing)
Ivan- Safe!
Ryan- Safe!
Jaymz- Buh Bye (Good, I was over him)

Previous Recaps:
Crazy-Eyed Ben & A Little Sass
Dance, Dance Revolution
Lohan Cuddles Pink Taco
By PopCultureWhore

Lindsay Lohan was spotted lounging on the beach with Harry Morton, 25, who owns a chain of Mexican restaurants called Pink Taco. He was featured on a recent Daily Show segment called "Box Lunch" in which he defended the restaurant against locals who objected to the name.

Russell Crowe Spawns Tennyson ...
By PopCultureWhore

Russell Crowe’s wife Daniella gave birth to the couple's second son Friday in Australia, an 8lb. bundle of joy named Tennyson Spencer Crowe. Tennyson?! Is Russell really that big a fan of literature used to torture high school sophomores for decades? He should pick up “Ulysses” next time he feels the urge to hurl objects at hotel employees’ heads. Tennyson joins his chubby little chunk of a 2 ½ year-old brother, Charles.