Thursday, July 06, 2006

Chapter One: Drunk
By PopCultureWhore

Robert Downey Jr., formerly Boozy McCokePants, is penning his memoirs for HarperCollins. The 41-year-old actor, who has had many a run-in with the law due to a love affair with booze and drugs, will have his literary debut in 2008.

Free Slut With Room Service
By PopCultureWhore

Nicky Hilton is adding hotel management to her busy schedule of purse designing and club hopping. Nicky O's will have two locations: a 94-room boutique/condo affair on Miami Beach's Ocean Boulevard and another in Chicago. "Miami will definitely be a party destination, and Chicago will be a little more calm," she tells People. Even though Nicky can afford this gig because of her Hilton hotel roots, she's wisely decided not to seek any help from her hotel owning kin. "I've been around hotels my whole life, and I know a good hotel when I see one. I'll go to my family for advice, but they’re not involved at all."

And if you order the steak in Miami, you get a side of Paris for free. She may say that one-night stands are "gross" but those are only the non-paying customers.
Passions Tones It Down
by SoapOperaWhore

Over at NBC’s Passions, where fire-breathing demons and witches with talking dolls are par for the course, writers seem to be moving toward the more traditional soap opera route with incest love triangles.

In what was one of the more controversial storylines to hit daytime in recent memory, lovers Chad and Whitney (above) were revealed to be half brother and sister by way of Whitney's mother, Eve. Miles was the product of Chad and Whitney's incest. Whitney did everything that she could to resist her attraction to Chad, including an engagement to Fox in which she claimed the baby that she was carrying was his. Ultimately all was revealed, and Whitney fled to a convent.

As the "Vendetta" storyline draws to a close, the viewers have learned that Chad's parents are actually Alistair and Liz, not Eve and Julian. Eve and Liz are sisters making Chad and Whitney half first cousins, but that isn't going to be an impediment to their love. That taboo has already been tackled on "Guiding Light" with the love story of half first cousins Jonathan and Tammy. Whitney is now going to be ditching the convent to head back to Harmony to be a family with Chad and Miles. I'm sure not all will be smiles and sunshine. Chad has to deal with the fact that he is a product of two of the most vile individuals in all of daytime, Liz and Alistair. Did Alistair spawn every character on this show? First Beth, now Chad, how many more characters are going to turn out to be long lost children of his? I hear rumblings that Spike may be a Crane. Hmmm……

In other "Passions" parental switcheroo news, Little Ethan's parents are Theresa and Ethan, not Theresa and Julian. Can Theresa's little heart even handle such news? The excitement might give her a heart attack.

Why does James Reilly keep the never ending triangle of Theresa-Ethan-Gwen alive? Theresa and Ethan cannot look at each other without adoration in their eyes. They now have two children together. Does Ethan even like Gwen? Jim Reilly obviously is of the mindset that Theresa and Ethan are the couple to root for. Ditch the triangle, give Gwen a new love interest, and create an obstacle that Ethan and Theresa can face together that has nothing to do with them breaking up and getting back together. Theresa chasing after Ethan is just not cute anymore.

UPDATE: It turns out that Whitney and Chad aren't even cousins. That's right. Liz, Chad's mother, is Eve's ADOPTED sister. I'm not sure what the point of this whole story was, but fans of Whitney and Chad should be happpy because they can now have their happily ever - at least until Jim Reilly comes up with some other way to torture these two.
Madge Redux!
By PopCultureWhore

My roommate and I had such a good, sweaty time at Madonna last time around we just scored more tix for when she returns to NYC on July 19! We edged our way from the 300 section to the 100 section and switched sides, which will provide a much better glimpse of the "Like a Virgin" horse riding segment (above). This time the camera comes with me, posted for your enjoyment post-show.

Contact Music reports that Madonna took in a show of former boyfriend Carlos Leon's turn in Broadway's Three Penny Opera.
Bring The Rhythm Back Too
By PopCultureWhore

A full-length version of Justin Timberlake's first single, SexyBack, has leaked on the Internet. I don't know about this one. I keep waiting for the good stuff to kick in. Rock my body again, JT! Cameron has tucked your soul behind her horse teeth!
Denial of Star Attack?
By PopCultureWhore

Fox News and Entertainment Tonight are reporting that Star Jones has placed detailed ABC contact information on her Web site so that incensed fans can contact the network and bitch about her departure. When I went there a few minutes ago, however, the site was apparently down, with just the word "Success" written in the top left corner (screen shot above). Hacker success? Has Barbara Walters become a techie on the side? Or is Star herself just being cryptic and obnoxious as usual?

UPDATE: Star is BACK! Contact information for ABC is indeed on her page, but it's generic information any moron could find. I want Baba Wawa's cell phone number! Contact information for her personal staff is more prominent, but Star is apparently not very high tech, given that her assistant's e-mail address is rather than an address

She also gets Friday photoshop honors for this glamour shot:

Scrawny Is As Scrawny Does
by PopCultureWhore

Nicole Ritchie's massive sunglasses have reportedly snagged her the original Fly. She and Jeff Goldblum, who is 30 years her senior, have been spotted out on the town in Hollywood. Nicole confessed in an interview that she has had a crush on since she was 13. Bleh.

Vanity Fair August Issue: Whiners
By PopCultureWhore

Vanity Fair's August issue must be the breakup edition. Hilary Swank will dish on the drug-adled demise of her marriage to Chad Lowe and it seems that Sheryl Crow will also gab about former fiance Lance Armstrong.

''It would be easy to say this is all about my wanting to get married and have kids but it was never that simple,'' she tells the magazine. ''It was much deeper than that.''

Armstrong gives the standard, ''We were at different points in our lives."

''I think that if I wanted to be married I would be married by now,'' Crow says. ''And, for whatever reason, I haven't done it. I've picked people who've helped me to not make that happen.'' Past loves include Eric Clapton.

Crow, who has recently battled breast cancer, will hit the road with John Mayer on Aug. 24.

In other couple news, People reports that Gilmore Girls star Alexis Bledel has split with long-time beau Milo Ventimiglia, who also stars on the show. That should make work fun. The mag also reports that Amber Frey, the woman with whom convicted killer Scott Peterson cheated on his wife, was married on Wednesday.

Hal Ascends To SoapDish In the Sky
By SoapOperaWhore

Benjamin Hendrickson, Detective Hal Munson on "As The World Turns", sadly committed suicide over the weekend. He had been with the show for over two decades, and most recently won an Emmy in 2003. That same year he stepped out of Hal's shoes to cope with the loss of his mother. The role was briefly recast, but he was later welcomed back into the role.

On screen, Hal is dealing with the impending death of his daughter, Jennifer Munson. Benjamin's last airdate is schedueled for July 12th. There are no active plans to recast the role. Hopefully, Hal Munson will be put to rest as a tribute to Benjamin Hendrickson, a vital part of the "As The World Turns" family during his entire tenure on the show.

Odd Couple of the Day

Pharrell Williams dons his Sunday best to hang out with Prince William at Wednesday's Audi Polo Challenge Cup in Berkshire, England.

Monica Under the Knife?
By PopCultureWhore

Courtney Cox is all for a little Dr. 90210 action, but husband David Arquette knows that it will just turn her into a freakish shadow of Joan Rivers. Cox tells Marie Claire that “it’s hard getting older; it’s hard not to be the young one anymore.” But David has a “huge problem” with plastic surgery. She copes with being 42 and drop-dead gorgeous by “not having too many mirrors around” and going to therapy. She also reveals that she is considering having another child, though she did have a little post-partum blues with first daughter Coco.


Katharine Catches Own McPhever
By PopCultureWhore

American Idol runner up Katharine McPhee dashed the dreams of 12-year-old girls everywhere last night when "severe bronchitis and laryngitis" prevented her from performing on the Idol Tour's opening night in New Hampshire. Perhaps swimming in a public pool while hanging on to your latest boy toy isn't the best way to battle impending illness. Remember when Britney cancelled a trip to her summer camp for aspiring trollops because of knee troubles and was later photographed with K-Fed at a video store twisting said knee into various poses in order to reach a DVD? Beginning of the end. I can twist anything back into my dismay over Britney's demise. Poor little lamb.

People, meanwhile, has shots of Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard catching fellow Idol Kelly Clarkson in concert.

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Feel the Burn All Over Again
By Kimmie Smith

I was a huge fan of Fame. I remember humming the tune in my head on my way to tap class, believing that "I'm going to live forever." Fame had talented dancers/actors dreaming of stardom, leg warmers, skinny jeans, sweatshirts with the ever sexy exposed shoulder and of course the leotard.

Fast forward 20 years and not too much has changed. People still dream of being famous, skinny jeans are so hot right now (I love flared pants but the skinny has a great look when worn with a pair of heels) and yes the leotard has emerged once again!For those of us that were dancers or gymnasts, you lived for the leotard and the many ways that it could be jazzed up for performances. With her recent Confessions Tour, Madonna has made the leotard look as sexy as the coned bra during her Blonde Ambition days, but the question is ... can the leotard come back and claim its spot among the trends spotted in Anytown, USA?

In most towns, I don't believe that you will see cute townies slithering in to these body hugging outfits, with the exception of the local dance studios. But in the city I have noticed that the leotard is stepping out of the studios, paired with a long skirt that's tied to create a slit and to show the leotard (a brave way of sporting the trend while not completely going all the way).

I also spotted a cute girl in Chelsea wearing a leotard embellished with Swarovski Crystals, a pair of leggings, 3" heels and a messy bun. She definitely turned heads but behind her Audrey Hepburn glasses, she seemed not to care.

If you still question the legitimacy of this trend, take a look at American Apparel, which has had a leotard offering for about a year. It's not as svelte as Madonna's tour version, but it is just as daring and sexy. It's not every day that a person decides to wear this active look as a casual outfit and I would expect to see more of this look as we hit early fall from hipsters and beyond.
PCW Movie Blip … Grind House
By Eboni McGriff

Grind House, the upcoming double feature from directors Quentin Tarantino (Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction) and Robert Rodriguez (Sin City, Desperado), is a tribute to the low-budget exploitation films of the 70’s and the crappy theatres that showed them in cheesy, bloody bulk. The flick combines two 75 minute horror movies linked together by fake movie trailers and is set to hit theaters on April 6, 2007.

It features an enormous cast, including Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, Naveen Andrews of “Lost” fame, Rose McGowan and the lovely Rosario Dawson. Rodriguez’s contribution is a zombie massacre called Planet Terror while Tarantino’s half, dubbed Death Proof, in which Dawson will reportedly star, features a misogynistic psycho who uses his muscle car to slaughter women. Mickey Rourke is in talks to be the killer. Why am I not surprised?

Entertainment Weekly recently interviewed the directors. More of their chat here.

EW: Where did the idea for Grind House come from?
RODRIGUEZ I used to go to Quentin's house and he'd show me these movies in his home theater. He'd always program the night with some really great trailers from the era and then a feature, then a few more trailers, and then another feature. And I was like, ''Man, we have to re-create these nights for the rest of the world!'' And right then, he was like, ''We have to call it Grind House!''

EW: Tell me about each of your Grind House films.
TARANTINO Our original idea was to do a horror double feature. The genre I wanted to tackle was slasher films, because I'm a big fan of late-'70s, early-'80s slasher films. The only thing was, what makes them so good is the genre is so rigid. And I had an idea about a guy who kills girls with his car as opposed to a machete, and I put it in a slasher-film structure. Other than the big car moments, though, my thing could be a Eugene O'Neill play. These girls just talk and talk and talk. If it wasn't for the car stuff, I could do my thing on stage.

RODRIGUEZ Mine's a zombie movie called Planet Terror. It feels like a John Carpenter movie that took place between Escape From New York and The Thing. I wanted to do a zombie script a while back because there hadn't been any good zombie movies in a while. I got about 30 pages into it, and then all these zombie movies came out. So I thought, Well, I don't have to make them zombies — there could be other reasons why they're like this. They're infected people. Quentin, what's that story?

Star Jones, Real Estate Maven
By PopCultureWhore

Star is making the logical jump for someone who has been on an ABC morning show for nine years and going to HGTV, the channel that features beautiful homes you'll never own. Her first post-View, post chat show whining gig will be a weeklong stint on "House Hunters," where she'll help prospective NYC homeowners find their dream digs. Have you ever watched this show? I've tune in occasionally out of a voyeuristic need to see other people's homes, but the house hunting couples they feature appear to all be vying for Most Boring Couple Alive.

Having recently experienced the nightmare that is finding a New York City apartment, I can say with great certainty that having Star Jones at my side during the process would have resulted in my first arrest. Though having "put in lockdown for assaulting Star Jones" on my record would make for awesome cocktail party banter, the twisted world of real estate brokers, convertible three bedrooms and sixth floor walkups does not need another evil overlord. Besides, did you see the pictures of her tacky, zebra-print haven on the Upper East Side? With the exception of the kick-ass deck (above), BLECH!

Lolita Lohan
By PopCultureWhore

La Lohan sluts it up for GQ next month to celebrate two decades of a drug-free and nutrient-full existence. Congrats Lindsay! Oh, she also hates autistic kids.

Emmy Nods: Old Favorites, Old Farts
By PopCultureWhore

Emmy nominations were announced at the crack of dawn in Los Angeles this morning and the list looks like an out-of-work actor casting sheet.

Biggest shocker? That Britney didn’t get nominated for her guest starring role as a closeted, hardcore lesbian turned conservative television commentator on Will & Grace.

Best reason for Tom Cruise to boycott the show? South Park got a nomination for its “Trapped in the Closet” episode, which poked fun at Scientology, insinuated that followers like Cruise and John Travolta were gay and managed to also work in R. Kelly for good measure.

Academy members also overlooked the obvious reality gold that is Making the Band 3 and instead nominated Amazing Race, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Project Runway and Survivor (it’s STILL on?) for reality competition series. They also scoffed at LC and The Hills in the non-competition category and instead appealed to granny with nods for Antiques Roadshow, The Dog Whisperer, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (sob!), Kathy Griffin: D-List and Penn & Teller (wtf?).



Three of the five OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS nominees were nominated for now defunct shows: Lisa Kudrow (The Comeback;) Jane Kaczmarek (Malcolm in the Middle); and Debra Messing (Will & Grace). Julia Louis Dreyfus and Stockard Channing also got nods for shows I’ve never watched. B-O-R-I-N-G. Give it to Lisa on the off-chance that she’ll sport the Valerie Cherish hair, otherwise I’ll use this category as my bathroom break.

In the SUPPORTING ACTRESS category, nominations went to Cheryl Hines (Curb Your Enthusiasm), Alfre Woodard (Desperate Housewives), Jaime Pressly (My Name is Earl), Elizabeth Perkins (Weeds) and Megan Mullaly (Will & Grace). I’ll bet Alfre Woodard never thought she and Jaime Pressly would be mentioned in the same breath, but she also probably never thought her talent would be wasted as blatantly as it has been on DH. Toss out Megan Mullaly for having already won, Cheryl Hines for being boring, Elizabeth Perkins for doing “Big” and give it to Jaime. She can do another Maxim spread to celebrate!

In the men’s department, at least the LEAD ACTOR nominees all still have shows on the air: Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm); Kevin James (King of Queens); Tony Shaloub (Monk); Steve Carell (The Office); and Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men). Curb can be hilarious but Larry is basically playing himself, get rid of Kevin and Charlie for drowning in typically moronic CBS comedy fare, don’t even get me started on Monk and just give the damn thing to Steve Carell.

In SUPPORTING ACTOR, I might overlook the “now defunct” aspect and award it to Will Arnett of Arrested Development, if for nothing else, the scene in which he hurls dead doves into the ocean and screams, “Return from whence you came!” Jeremy Piven, the always apoplectic Ari from Entourage, also scored a nod, and comes in a close second. The other throw-away nods include Bryan Cranston, the dad from Malcolm in the Middle (WHY?), Jon Cryer, the creepy looking friend on Two and a Half Men and Sean Hayes (Just Jack!) from Will & Grace.

TV Shows: Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office, Scrubs and Two and a Half Men. Tough call because, save for Charlize Theron’s odd guest appearances, Arrested Development was a classic, but I’m going to go with The Office.

Outstanding Cast: Desperate Housewives, Entourage, My Name is Earl, Weeds. I’m over DH, so scratch that. If you’re giving out awards for best ensemble, it would seem fitting to hand it over to a show called Entourage. Done.


The list of dead actresses continues in the drama department with Geena Davis (Commander in Chief), Frances Conroy (Six Feet Under) and Allison Janey (The West Wing) all scoring nods for LEAD ACTRESS. Still in the game nods went to Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer) and Mariska Hargitay (Law & Order: SVU). I loved Six Feet Under and would accept a Frances Conroy win, but I’m also rather enamored of The Closer lately. Geena, Allison and Mariska? No, no and no.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS is a nice little collection of shows I don’t watch: Candice Bergen (Boston Legal), Sandra Oh (Grey’s Anatomy), Chandra Wilson (Grey’s Anatomy), Blythe Danner (Huff) and Jean Smart (24). Jean Smart? From Designing Women? Was she brought in to feng shui Kiefer’s chaotic life? Seeing as how worked up everyone got over the Grey’s finale, Sandra or Chandra could be in the running, but the Emmys like to keep it old school sometimes (thank God Raymond is off the air so Doris Roberts can just stay home), so Candice and Blythe could have a shot. Not really sure, but don’t really care.

Another Sheen bites the dust in LEAD ACTOR world. Martin Sheen (The West Wing) and Peter Krause (Six Feet Under) join the dead actor’s club, while Christopher Meloni (Law & Order: SVU), Denis Leary (Rescue Me) and Kiefer Sutherland (24) keep the dream alive. If Peter wins, he should reenact Nate’s “Narm!” scene. The only snippet of “Rescue Me” I’ve seen is when Denis Leary basically rapes his ex-wife on a couch, Christopher Meloni will always been that guy who humped a fridge in “Wet Hot American Summer” and Kiefer? His Intense Stare is almost as perfect as Keanu’s “There’s a bomb on the bus!” facial contortions!

SUPPORTING ACTOR: William Shatner (Boston Legal); Oliver Platt (Huff); Michael Imperioli (Sopranos); Gregory Itzin (24); and Alan Alda (The West Wing). Besides the Sopranos, this category also falls under “shows I don’t watch” (Gregory who?). But unless any of the other actors stole their mob boss uncle’s potential mistress, had a drug-induced freak out at a carnival, married some girl and bought a Jersey mansion just for kicks and approved the murder of their rat ex-fiancĂ©e to preserve family bonds, I’d say it’s a Sopranos win for me.

TV Show: Grey’s Anatomy, House, Sopranos, 24 and The West Wing. Blah, blah,
bloody BLAH. Well, at least House can be entertaining (He’s British and NOT crippled!) and it gave the suicide kid from Dead Poet’s Society a steady income. Sopranos should reign supreme, but even I, faithful from the start, was disappointed with the lackluster recent season. Someone died on Grey’s Anatomy, so that will probably ramp up its chances. I’m over D.C. and Kiefer.

Outstanding Cast: Big Love, Boston Legal, Grey’s Anatomy, House and Lost. I tried to get into Big Love, but Chloe Sevigny irks me, the husband isn’t even all that charismatic and Mormon territorial bullshit does not spice up my Sunday nights. Next! My troubled little castaways seem to be the only logical choice.