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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Milk, You Ignorant Slut!
By PopCultureWhore


















Rather than penning passionate letters to our nation’s leaders, today's youth are reviewing … milk. Amazon.com last month started selling a variety of grocery items, including Tuscan-brand milk. Though it's currently unavailable, it’s prompted an unprecedented 763 customer “reviews” on the e-commerce Web site. Impish Internet scribes are likening this lactose laden treat to nectar of the Gods, blaming it for the demise of their marriage and accusing it of drowning Snap, Crackle and Pop of Rice Krispie fame. Click HERE to add your own thoughts.

Additional observations include:

When I achieved transcendence and perfect enlightenment … I was glad it was Tuscan milk that shot out of my nose.

I deeply, deeply love and cherish Tuscan whole milk, and when Tuscan whole milk proposed to me, I was the happiest girl in the whole world. Unfortunately, the ignorant and hateful lawmakers in my state have prohibited our union.

If god spit in my mouth, I assume this is what it would taste like.

I give it only 3 stars because it only comes in one color.

I eat nothing but potatoes! So consequently I got scurvy! Wouldn't you know it? I bought a gallon of this delicious milk on Amazon, and it knocked up my daughter and stole my car!

I gave Tuscan milk to my kitten last week. Before last week, she has always been a normal, fuzzy orange kitten. After lapping Tuscan Milk for the first time, she went to the store and stole a blue mask and red cape. Now she flies around the neighborhood shooting lasers out of her eyes at the neighborhood children.

(Source)

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