Hot Child in the City -

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

It's Danity Kane Day, Whores!
By PopCultureWhore

Well, if the world didn’t end after K-Fed’s Teen Choice performance, maybe it’ll end today with the release of Danity Kane’s debut album. I kid, of course. I’ll probably buy the song “Want It” and dance around my apartment in short shorts just for kicks, but the jury’s still out on the rest of the album.

The ladies were on TRL yesterday to perform “Show Stopper” and the teeny boppers seemed very enthused by Aundrea and Aubrey. They were ho’d out of course, but the fashion choices were a bit better than the Medieval Times inspired bar wench costumes they sported during their season finale performance.

The final episode this season saw the ladies prepping for their Brooklyn Bridge debut. BoomKat was thrilled with their shimmy shake.

The ladies were also enthused by their male backup dancers.

Aundrea announces that one male backup dancer will be her lover while the other will be her husband. “Oh, you’re fantasizing!” BoomKat purrs, before demanding to know why the black guy always has to be the lover. The dancer in question apparently doesn’t know his place and announces that he’s always the lover. Super.

Grandma Betty was back with a stunning sequined ensemble. She instructed DK to pretend that their mic stands were men during a particularly saucy number. “I wasn’t always 52!” she giggles. She’s only 52? She’s the same age as Christie Brinkley?

Unfortunately, the ladies’ first performance is rained out. The wind made BoomKat squint. Don’t make BoomKat squint. She’ll cut you.

Knowing that retail therapy would cure the blues, Diddy arrives at the rescheduled concert with Tiffany bags in tow.

He hands out diamond crosses that will go so nicely with the leather chaps, push-up bras, four-inch stiletto thigh boots and mounds of hair extensions.

Diddy knows what’s what, though, and makes BoomKat an honorary sixth member of the group (YES!) and hands over the bling. BoomKat like.

Danity Kane then takes to the stage. There’s some groping of dancer boys, a few tightly choreographed spins and lots of pouty looks. It’s a little blah.

But this guy doesn’t seem to care.

Previous Recaps:
Episode 8: Ooh She's a Bright Light, Gizmo!
Episode 7: Love Is Only Half the Battle
Episode 6: Beauty and the Beastly Boyfriend
Episode 5: These Dudes Keep Grabbing Me!
Episode 4: Aubrey: Boom Kat For Life

Episode 3: I Love You Whores Forever!

Episode 2: Boom Kat, You Bitches!
Episode 1: Trannies Save New Orleans


Anonymous Maximillian said...

It's all wrong what you're writing.

2:27 PM


Post a Comment

<< Home