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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Don't Drop the Soap
By Patrick Griffith

Junkie extraordinaire and Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty has pleaded guilty to five counts of possessing drugs, which included crack cocaine. Poor guy must be hard for money these days if he’s going after the poor man’s coke, although when you have a girlfriend named “Cocaine Kate” Moss, life can be rather expensive. The only thing Doherty can look forward to smoking is a big black man named Bubba’s one eyed trouser snake, because he’s had far too many run-ins with the law to get any type of probation. Too bad, because I was really looking forward to Doherty’s “The Implant Sessions,” an album he planned to create while he was trying to clean up from drugs with the help of a small implant in his body. But who am I kidding? This guy loves drugs way too much to kick the habit for good. Plus how’s he going to find his creative edge, by getting loose off orange juice? The only thing this guy’s ever accomplished that’s remotely cool was shacking up with Moss, but even that can be achieved by anyone with a penis and an 8-ball. Cross your fingers for ol’ Petey on September 4 when he’s sentenced in a London courthouse.

Meanwhile, reports suggest that Pete might have missed an impromptu wedding to Kate because of his drug problems.


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